Hold Me Tonight
by the universe in her eyes
Summary: Maura falls ill and Jane is there for her. Eventual Rizzles. This story is very close to my heart.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't want to say anything about this story yet, that would make this first chapter less interesting. Just keep on reading and you'll find out.**

* * *

The first time Jane notices something's wrong, is when she sees Maura change into her pajamas in the evening. Her ribs are way too visible, her hip bones protruding.

"Have you lost weight?" the brunette asks her best friend, voice muffled by the shirt she's pulling over her head.

Maura looks up at her. "Um, I don't know. Maybe a little." This is definitely an odd answer, coming from Maura. She normally keeps track of everything, including her weight. _She's hiding something._

"Maura, you're beautiful. You know that right? You don't need to lose any weight."

"I'm not doing it on purpose, Jane," Maura replies softly. "I just ... I don't know why I've lost so much weight. I just haven't been hungry lately."

Jane makes her way over to Maura, until she's close enough to wrap her arms around her. "We're eating together from now on, I don't want you losing any more weight. I'll make sure I'm not upstairs doing paperwork during lunch time. I'll come down to the lab to pick you up every day, okay?" Jane says.

Maura pulls back from their hug to look into Jane's eyes. "Thank you."

* * *

The second time Jane notices, is when she walks into the crime lab only to hear Maura coughing loudly. When she rounds the corner, she sees Maura sitting in a chair next to her desk. Maura is always working when Jane comes down to the lab, so the fact that Maura's sitting there can only be described as unusual. As she approaches Maura, she notices how tired and worn out she looks. "You okay?" Jane asks, immediately concerned.

"I'm fine. Shall we go out for lunch?" Maura asks. _Changing the subject. That's nothing like her,_ Jane thinks.

"You're not fine, Maura. You sound as if you have some serious illness, you look like you haven't slept in days. What's up?"

"I must admit that I don't feel well, Jane. It's probably just the flu," Maura says, avoiding eye contact.

"The flu? Not some, I don't know, chemical antecubital syndrome?" Jane jokes. She smiles at Maura, who raises her eyebrows questioningly. "Antecubital wouldn't make sense, Jane. That has to do with the elbow, coughing isn't related to that."

"I know Maur, I was just joking."

"You knew antecubital had to do with the elbow?" Maura asks, surprised. Now it's Jane's turn to raise her eyebrows. "Of course not, Maura. I meant ... whatever. Let's go."

Maura gets up from the chair and follows Jane towards the elevator. When they're standing inside and Jane has pressed the button, Maura looks up to study the brunette's face. The crease in her eyebrow tells Maura that something's bothering her and the purple lines below her eyes show that Jane also hasn't been sleeping very well. _Maybe she's having nightmares again._

"Can you stop that?" Jane's voice pulls Maura from her thoughts. "What?"

"Analyzing me. Trying to figure out what my "facial muscles" tell you." Jane says. She doesn't sound angry, just tired. Before Maura can respond, they have reached the level of the parking garage and the elevator doors open. When they reach Jane's car, Maura automatically walks to the passengers side and Jane to "her" side. One of many unspoken rules between the two of them.

Just before they get in the car, Maura coughs again. Jane looks at her over the roof of her car, her eyes narrowing slightly. "If this cough lasts longer than a week, I'm taking you to the hospital. I don't care if you don't want to go or think it's unnecessary." Maura sighs, knowing Jane is right. "Fine," she replies and they get in the car.

* * *

The third time is when Maura and Jane are halfway through their usual morning run. Jane notices Maura is slowing down just slightly, something she has never done. Jane doesn't comment on it at first, until Maura stopt running completely and doubles over, as if she's about to throw up. "Stop ... I can't, Jane."

Jane stops running immediately and walks towards Maura. She pulls her to the side of the road and places a hand on Maura's back, noticing her breathing is irregular. "Hey. Slow down. Breathe." When Jane notices that Maura's breathing doesn't even out, she pulls her up and looks into her eyes. "Maura. Breathe with me." Jane places her hands on Maura's shoulders and starts counting. "Breathe in, 2, 3, 4. And out, 2, 3, 4, 5." She keeps on counting until Maura's breathing slows down a little. Jane places two fingers on Maura's pulse point, only to notice that Maura's heartbeat is much quicker than usual. "Your heart is racing, honey. What's going on?"

Before Maura gets the chance to answer, she has another coughing fit. Jane looks at her worriedly, trying to figure out what's wrong. "I'm taking you to the hospital today," Jane says when Maura has stopped coughing. "I've already given you an extra week, Maura. You know I wanted you to go earlier."

"Jane, I'm just tired. It's probably nothing."

 _It's not nothing. She's a doctor. She knows something's off._

"Maura, you just haven't been yourself. We've been doing these morning runs for years and suddenly you're out of breath when we're only halfway through. And you've had this bad sounding cough for more than two weeks now. I don't trust it." Maura can't disagree with her, because she knows Jane is right. She says nothing.

"Can we walk home?" She asks, hating herself for sounding so weak. "Of course," Jane replies, putting her hand on Maura's back for support.

On their way home, they talk about work. Maura desperately tries to keep the subject "hospital" out of their conversation. She doesn't want to go to the hospital, but mostly she doesn't want Jane to worry about her. Jane on her part is already worried sick. Her mind is filled with a thousand scenarios and illnesses, things that can take her Maura away from her. _Hold on,_ Jane thinks. _Her Maura?_ Before she gets the chance to analyze that thought, they have reached Maura's house.

* * *

Jane is working at her desk when her phone rings. "Rizzoli."

"Miss Rizzoli? This is Doctor Browne from Massachusetts General Hospital. You called this morning to make an appointment regarding your friend, Dr Isles?"

"Yes, I did. I made an appointment for tomorrow morning, because today wasn't possible anymore."

"That was indeed the situation this morning, but one of my meetings has just been cancelled. Would it be possible for the both of you to be at the hospital at 4:30 this afternoon?"

"Uhm, yeah. I think that'll be possible," Jane answers.

"You said it had something to do with her lungs, right?" Doctor Browne asks.

"Yeah, she has had a really bad cough for the last two weeks and she's constantly tired and out of breath."

"Okay. You're expected to be at the second floor at 4:30PM. If you take the elevator, you'll see the registration counter immediately when the doors open."

"Thanks a lot. I'll see you then," Jane says. When she hangs up, she sees Frost eyeing her suspiciously. "Sup?" He asks. "It's not for me, just gotta take Maura to the hospital for something," she answers, expertly avoiding the real cause. Frost takes the hint, and being the good friend he is, continues with his work.

Jane picks up the phone again, this time calling Maura.

"Maur? The doctor called, our appointment is this afternoon at 4:30."

"Oh, so it's "our" appointment now?" Maura answers.

 _What the hell?_ Jane thinks.

"Uhm, Maura, I'm going with you. You're not going there by yourself. What if it's bad news and -" Before Jane can finish her sentence, Maura interrupts her.

"Yes Jane, that's **exactly** why I don't want you to come! Don't you understand?" Secretly, Maura wants nothing more than to have Jane be with her in the hospital. Although she won't admit it out loud, she's afraid of what the doctor might say this afternoon. And no matter what, Jane always makes things better.

"I'm taking you there and I'm staying with you. That's what best friends do," Jane answers. When Maura doesn't respond, Jane tries again. "I'll be downstairs at 4, okay?" She hears Maura sigh. "Okay," Maura's voice sounds so small. "I'll see you then."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading! I'm still not sure if I'm going to continue my first story, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging so I decided to start a second story. This one will certainly have multiple chapters, so be prepared! :)**

 **Again, thanks for reading and please leave me a review. They make me happy.  
M.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: My updates won't be very frequent, because school started yesterday. I'll try to write as much as possible, but I'm in my last year of high school so I'll probably have a lot of stuff to do. Don't worry, I won't forget to write, but sometimes it may take a while.**

 **By the way, I haven't had time to check this chapter twice for grammar mistakes, so I'm sorry for any mistakes (that will most likely be in here). Also, I'm not a doctor, so if any medical information/symptoms are wrong, you can blame it on Google.**

* * *

Out of all the scenarios Jane thought of, this was definitely one of the worst. This happens to other people, other families in other lives. Not to her best friend.

 _"I'm very sorry to tell you Miss Isles, but you have lung cancer."_

* * *

"How bad is it?" Jane is the first one to speak. "Well, I will try to explain which type of cancer cells are present and tell you something about various treatments we offer to cure this type of cancer," doctor Browne says.

Jane nods automatically, Maura stays silent.

"Miss Isles has been diagnosed with Stage II NSCLC, that stands for Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer. Stage II means that the cancer is only in the lung and nearby lymph nodes, not in the heart or other organs. That makes treatment easier, because the tumor can be removed through surgery and chemotherapy after surgery. However, in your case we recommend that you also receive chemotherapy before the surgery, because this will most likely cause the tumor to shrink and therefore easier to remove."

Maura pretends not to notice the way Jane's jaw clenches. It's Jane's way of trying to hold back tears.

"What's the prognosis?" Maura asks. It's the first time she has spoken since doctor Browne told them the news.

"The overall survival rate is approximately 30 percent. However, you're in good health, so we don't expect any complications and therefore your survival rate will probably be higher. Also, you're a woman, that tends to heighten your survival rate as well," He answers. Maura nods, unaware of the tears falling down her cheeks.

"I'll leave you two alone for now. I will send an oncologist your way to make a first appointment, he will be here in about fifteen minutes. You're free to stay in this room," doctor Browne says while he approaches Maura and shakes her hand, "I wish you the very best, Miss Isles." He shakes Jane's hand as well, nodding friendly when she thanks him for his help. He then leaves them alone, walking out the door into the hallway.

Jane looks at Maura and wonders how someone this beautiful can be struck by such an awful disease. Her honey blonde locks cover her face when she leans forward, burying her head in her hands. Neither of them know what to say, the silence is deafening. Jane gets up from the chair she's been sitting in and walks towards Maura, who's sitting on edge the bed. She joins her and places her hand on Maura's back, rubbing up and down for comfort.

 _The survival rate is 30 percent._

This sentence is on repeat in her head for the rest of the day. She hears it when the oncologist comes in to make an appointment, when she's driving them home and even when she's making dinner for them, because she insisted on staying with Maura. It doesn't go away. She doesn't think it ever will.

* * *

The next morning, Jane stands in the kitchen making coffee for herself when she hears Maura walking down the stairs. _Probably thirsty or something,_ she thinks. Maura rounds the corner, fully clothed and ready to go. "Where are **you** going?" Jane asks, surprised. "Um ... to work?" Maura answers, looking at Jane as if that wasn't obvious. "But, I, you're," Jane stammers, not managing to find an appropriate response. "I'm the same person I was yesterday, Jane," Maura starts, "I'm going to work today. It wouldn't make sense to stay home. No one knows yet, they don't have to, and my appointment isn't until Tuesday."

Jane can't think of anything to say, so she simply nods. "If you really think you're able to go, I won't stop you. But the second you want to go home, you just come upstairs or call me and I'll take you."

Maura looks at her, maybe a little too long for just friends. Jane's used to it, she looks at Maura all the time, but has failed to notice until now how far they've passed the boundaries of "normal" friends. She doesn't comment on it, simply nods when Maura says that she'll do that. "I'm going to get my bag and then we can leave," Maura says and walks away from Jane, towards the living room. Jane manages to grab her just in time, pulling her back by her wrist. "Maur."

Maura turns around to look at Jane again. "Yeah?"

"Will we be okay?" Meaning, _will you let me in on what you're feeling, can I take care of you, do you trust me?_

"We will," Maura replies, the corners of her mouth moving up slightly, to something that can almost be called a smile.

* * *

Jane's day goes like any other one. She's upstairs doing paperwork and making phone calls, while Maura is downstairs in the lab. People come and go, talking to each other and leaving empty coffee cups on their desks. Just like any other day. Life goes on around her, as if her best friend hasn't just been diagnosed with cancer.

It's hard for her to keep a straight face when Frost asks her how Maura's appointment went, even though he knows that she avoided the subject yesterday. She manages to lie, saying that it went well, knowing that Maura doesn't want people to know. Not yet. Not until it's necessary. Frost of course believes her and nods, telling her that he hopes everything will be okay. She almost can't fight the tears that well up in her eyes.

 _The survival rate is 30 percent._

 _Not now,_ she says to herself. _I'm working. Focus._

 _I need to see her. I need to make sure she's okay._

"Jane."

"Huh?" Jane looks up at Frost. He points at her desk. "Your phone was ringing?" He says, looking at her worriedly. She picks up her phone, only to see that Maura has called her. "I'm gonna go downstairs for a second. Maura says she's got something."

Frost nods. "Korsak will be here in a few, he wants to talk about that cold case you're working on? He said he's got some information for you."

"Okay, thanks. I'll be right back," Jane replies over her shoulder, already walking towards the elevators.

When she arrives at Maura's office, Maura's sitting behind her desk. "What wrong? Why did you call?" Jane says, the second she walks inside. Maura looks up at her. "Nothing's wrong. I was just wondering if we were still going out for lunch." Jane looks at her watch, it's indeed 2:30PM and they haven't had lunch. "Um, can we just grab something at the café upstairs? Korsak's coming to talk about a case." Maura nods, but doesn't close her laptop yet.

"What're you working on?" Jane asks. "Nothing important," Maura replies. _Well, that response is nothing like her._

Jane raises her eyebrows and walks towards Maura's desk, trying to look at the screen of her laptop. "You're not shoe-shopping, are you? You just got this big delivery a few days ago." When Maura doesn't reply, Jane pulls the laptop away from Maura and towards her.

 _Lung Cancer Treatment  
This article discusses various treatments for lung cancer and the possible risks this may ... _

"Maura, why are you reading this stuff? We've gone over the treatment process multiple times with the doctor." Jane closes the laptop and Maura sighs. "I'm sorry. I just can't," Maura says. "I've never experienced something like this. I don't know what will happen, what the treatment will feel like or what the consequences are. I don't even know if I'll make it to next year, Jane."

"Maura, _don't._ " The pain in Jane's voice makes Maura fall silent. "I know you'll make it," Jane continues, " _we_ will make it."

"You can't know that," Maura replies, "what if something goes wrong or-"

"You don't like what ifs, remember?" Jane says, gently. Maura looks up at her, smiling.

Jane motions for her to stand up from her chair and wraps her arms around Maura, pulling her close. "I'm here. I'll always be."

* * *

 **A/N: Reviews make me happy. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi, I'm back :) Thank you so much for the reviews and especially for the huge amount of follows! I was amazed by the amount of people who favorited and followed this story. So, thanks for that.**

 **From now on I'll occasionally put random song lyrics in chapters, because there just happen to be a few songs that describe the story perfectly. Or they make an appearance in the story itself, which is the case in this chapter. The title(s) and artist(s) will be in the A/N at the end of the chapter. For the people who don't like it, don't worry, I won't do it often. Happy reading!**

* * *

When Jane wakes up, the first thing she recognizes is the strong smell of coffee. She stretches, letting herself enjoy the fact that she's laying in Maura's guest room with the morning sun shining through the blinds. And it's Sunday, so that means no homicides or autopsies.

She gets up and grabs a gray sweatpants from the chair, putting it on while at the same time looking for a shirt. The only things she finds is a white tank top, her shirt is nowhere to be found. _Whatever,_ she thinks, _I'm at Maura's place anyway._

The smell only gets stronger when she walks down the stairs. When she gets closer to the kitchen, she hears an unusual noise.

 _Je commence les livres par la fin  
Et j'ai le menton haut pour un rien  
Mon __œil qui pleure, c'est à cause du vent  
_ _Mes absences c'est du sentiment_ _  
_

A French song. A song that Maura is listening to. _Singing along to._ She obviously hasn't yet noticed Jane, who is now standing in the hallway, completely mesmerized. Jane can't take her eyes off of Maura, once again stunned by her beauty. Even at nine in the morning, she looks gorgeous. Her hair is a mess, she doesn't have any makeup on and all she's wearing is a black nightgown, but she still looks gorgeous. Jane can't help but notice that the nightgown is rather short on Maura.

At that moment, Maura turns towards the hallway where Jane is standing. "Hi! I didn't see you. How long have you been standing there?" Maura says, slightly embarrassed. "Umm... not long," Jane stammers, unable to form a proper sentence. Maura, on the other hand, seems satisfied with that answer and continues preparing breakfast. She turns around to grab two coffee cups out of a cupboard and Jane notices that Maura's backside is entirely bare, the nightgown not covering anything above her lower back.

 _Jane. Don't go there._ "Only you would listen to French music," Jane says, mentally shaking herself. _Stop it._

Maura turns back around and looks at her, smiling. "Well, it's very good for your brain to listen to songs in different languages. You should try it sometime."

"Yeah, Maur, I can't understand a single thing. Sounds like a really good idea," Jane responds teasingly. She walks towards Maura. "Can I help you with something?"

Maura pours the coffee into their cups and takes the two slices of bread out of the toaster. "Why don't you take a shower while I finish breakfast. I hope we don't get called in, I actually wanted to go that the conference I told you about last week."

"The one about the renewed DNA-tests and stuff?" Jane asks. Maura nods. "Yeah. It's probably going to be the last conference I'll be able attend for a while, so ..."

The realization that Maura's illness is real and still present, hits Jane hard. She realizes that Maura's treatment starts in two days and she has to take a second to compose herself. "I'll go with you," she says, after a while. Maura looks up, surprised. "Really? I thought you hated conferences."

"Well, uhh, I changed my mind," Jane answers. Maura smiles, a real, genuine smile this time. Then her face turns serious. "You have to dress nicely, Jane. Do you have anything else than what you wear to work every day?"

"Umm, not really. I only have some shirts and my normal suit," Jane says. Maura raises her eyebrows. "Are you serious? You don't even own a dress?"

"I don't have any of those fancy clothes you have, Maur. You know that. Your wardrobe probably costs more than I make in a year."

"That's hardly true, Jane. Come with me, I'll show you some of my dresses that should fit you. We traded clothes one time, remember? You wore one of my dresses."

Jane sighs heavily. "What about breakfast?" she asks. Maura's already dragging her down the hallway when she answers. "I'll finish that soon. You have to find a dress first, so you can take a shower and put it on."

* * *

Jane is sitting at the kitchen island, waiting for Maura to finish. In the end, she decided to wear a regular suit, she couldn't be talked into wearing one of Maura's dresses. Again. She's so lost in her thoughts that she doesn't hear Maura walk down the stairs, in fact, she doesn't even notice Maura until she's standing in front of her. In a dark blue dress.

"Wow, um, you're gonna go like that?" Jane says, nervously.

"What do you mean? This is appropriate for a conference, don't you think?" Maura answers. _For a conference,_ Jane thinks. _Not for my thoughts in general- what the hell? I really have to stop thinking like this. She's my best friend._

"Yeah, sure. It's fine, Maur. Let's go." Jane jumps up, grabbing her phone and keys. Maura's right behind her when they walk out, closing the door behind them. "Jane, you do realize that we're attending the dinner afterwards, right? So that means you're listening to me, because I'm going to tell you which cutlery to use and how to do that. I don't want the same experience as we had with the fish."

Jane scoffs. "Of course, _Miss_." This is what Maura loves about their friendship. They can be silly and sarcastic, but also very serious. In this case, it may seem like Jane isn't serious, but she knows by the tone of Jane's voice that she does take her seriously. She smiles at Jane before getting in the car.

* * *

"Ugh, I don't understand how you could listen to that man for two hours. I was lost within five minutes!" Jane says, definitely exaggerating.

"This is a breakthrough in DNA-testing, Jane. I found it very fascinating," Maura says, taking off her jacket. Jane takes it from her and hangs it on the coat rack.

Maura is already pouring wine into a glass when Jane enters the kitchen. "Could you grab me a beer? I'm going to change out of this dress and into a pair of very comfortable sweatpants," Jane says. "Of course," Maura answers.

When Jane returns to the living room, Maura's sitting on the couch with the TV on. _History channel, really?_ Jane thinks. She walks towards the couch and snatches the remote from the armrest. She quickly switches the channel to ESPN, where the Sox are playing against The Yankees. "Hey! I was watching that documentary!" Maura protests. Jane sits down next to her, pulling a blanket over herself and giving Maura the other one. "Maura, I've listened to a guy talking about scientific stuff all afternoon. I'm allowed to pick a channel tonight and this is what I want to watch."

Maura sighs, knowing that Jane is right. "Thanks for coming with me, by the way," she ways. Jane looks at her, smiling. "Of course."

Jane's attention is quickly drawn away from Maura when one of the players hit a home run, but Maura can't stop looking at Jane. She doesn't really care about the game, she's only watching it because Jane wants to. That doesn't mean she can't look at Jane.

And Jane is beautiful. The way she's completely engrossed in the game, the way she yells "Throw it to third, you idiot!" and the way she smiles when her team scores. Maura can't help but smile at her competitiveness. She scoots a little, moving until she's close enough to lean her head on Jane's shoulder. She loves the way Jane's shoulder is at perfect height for her, but she especially loves the little smile that tugs at the corner of Jane's mouth when Maura is finally settled the way she wants to.

She feels how hard it is for Jane to stay still, all she wants to do is jump up or yell because that's what she always does during a game. Maura smiles, knowing that Jane's trying to stay still for her. Finally, Maura feels Jane's hand rest on top of her leg, rubbing up and down. She's exhausted, which is not surprising after such a long day. The last thing she realizes before sleep overtakes her, is that "just friends" don't end up on the couch like this.

When, after an hour and a half, Jane wants to move the blanket to get up, she notices that Maura is still sleeping. _Do I wake her up?_ I'll have to, Jane concludes, because otherwise Maura's going to have a really sore back in the morning. And so does she, because if Maura's staying here, she has to stay here. Not that she would mind, but it isn't the most comfortable place to sleep.

Jane lifts her hand and carefully strokes Maura's cheek. She stirs almost immediately, her hazel eyes fluttering open. "Hey," Jane whispers softly. Maura slowly sits up, looking at Jane with tired eyes. "Hi," she answers. They sit in silence for a while, Jane giving Maura some time to fully wake up. After a minute or two, Maura gets up first, taking her wine glass and Jane's empty beer bottle with her. Jane gets up too, folding the blankets and turning off the TV.

"Maura," Jane starts, "I was thinking. Your chemotherapy starts in two days. Don't you think it's time for us to start telling people?" She looks at Maura, not failing to notice how her shoulders fall with this realization. "Yeah, I guess so," Maura answers flatly, turning around to switch on the dishwasher. Jane walks towards her, tapping on Maura's shoulder when she's standing behind her. "Turn," Jane says, tugging slightly on Maura's dress. When Maura turns around, Jane immediately wraps her arms around her. "We're in this together, remember?" She says when she pulls back. "You don't have to deal with this on your own."

Maura nods, barely managing a smile. "I still want to go to work tomorrow, Jane. I'll have to tell Cavanaugh at the end of the day, so why don't we ask everyone to come over tomorrow evening?"

"I'm okay with anything, Maur. Do it the way you want to. I'll be there," Jane answers. "Thank you," Maura answers, moving past Jane to go to the hallway. "I'm going to bed now," she says. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"G'night, Maur," Jane says and watches as Maura disappears into the hallway.

She wants nothing more than to go after Maura and stay with her for the rest of the night.

* * *

Jane doesn't see Maura come out of the elevator, but Frost does. "What's Maura doing up here?" Jane looks up at him, not understanding the question for a second. Then she realizes it's Monday afternoon, five PM and Maura is about to tell Cavanaugh about her illness. "Oh, umm, I cannot tell you yet." He raises his eyebrows questioningly, but doesn't ask. Jane continues to speak, realizing this is the best time to ask them. "Um, Frost? And Korsak, since you're here anyway. Could you both come over to Maura's house at eight or so? We have to tell you something."

Frost and Korsak exchange looks. "What is it?" Jane says. "We already know what you're going to tell us, Jane," Korsak says. "You and Maura are together?"

"What? No!" Jane says, defending herself immediately. _Why would they think that?_ "It's something else. You'll hear tonight."

Frost and Korsak both nod, not asking any further questions. It's then that Maura walks into the bullpen, looking stunning as always, although the dark circles under her eyes don't go unnoticed."Jane, can I speak to you for a second?" Maura asks, but Jane's already getting up, taking her jacket and keys with her. "We're going home, guys. I'll see you both tonight," she says. "Don't ask, I'll explain" she says to Maura, giving her a small push towards the door.

When they're in the car, Maura tells Jane about her conversation with Cavanaugh. "We agreed to an undefined period of absence due to my illness. He was very understanding." Jane looks in her rearview mirror before changing lanes, then looks at Maura. "I thought it'd be obvious he wouldn't give you any trouble. You're the best ME the Boston Police has ever had, you don't ever take a day off or fail to do your work properly." Maura smiles at the compliment. "You've already asked Frost and Korsak to come over?" she asks.

"Yeah, I told them to be at your place around eight. I'll call my mom to tell her the same thing and ask her to tell Frankie," Jane says, stopping at a red light and getting the chance to look at Maura for a little bit longer. "You don't want your parents to know?"

Maura shakes her head. "I'll call my mother in a few weeks, I guess. It won't make sense to call her now, she's probably in some kind of meeting on the other side of the world anyway. She always is," she says. "And my father, well, as you know I haven't really spoken to him in years. He's not a part of my life."

Jane puts her hand on Maura's for a second, offering silent support. It doesn't go unnoticed by Maura, she looks up from her lap and smiles at Jane. When they pull into Maura's driveway, Maura adds "It doesn't matter, Jane. Really. I've got more of a family now than I've ever had."

* * *

The silence that follows Maura's speech is frightening. No one speaks, the only sound in the room is the ticking of the clock on the kitchen wall.

Angela is the first to speak. "Honey. If you need anything, we're here. We're all here." Tears fill her eyes, she doesn't know what else to say. "Yeah, Maura. We will make sure that you're going to be fine," Frankie adds. Korsak gets up to hug Maura, not knowing what to say. Frost follows, he's quiet too.

"I know this may not seem like an appropriate question right now, but, um, are you, you know ..." Frankie cannot finish his sentence. Jane does it for him. "The survival rate is approximately thirty percent."

Saying this makes it even more real and Jane is struggling to keep it together. Korsak, having been her partner for many years, sees this and saves her from her fight against the tears. He starts talking, drawing the attention away from Jane. "Shall we leave you alone for now? I'm sure Frankie won't mind taking Angela home and Frost and I will go home too. Maura, of course we will visit in the hospital as often as possible."

Maura nods, eternally grateful for the support her friends are giving her. _Her friends._

Much to Jane's surprise, her mother doesn't insist on staying. In fact, Angela is the first one to give Maura and her a hug to say goodbye, promising them to be at the hospital whenever possible as well. Frankie follows, saying "You're my sister too, Maura. I'll be there for you like I would be there for Jane."

Even Korsak hugs Jane, ignoring the fact that he hasn't done that since Hoyt. Frost is the last one, "If you ever want to, like, drink some beer and watch a game, you can always give me a call. Even in the middle of the night." Jane smacks his shoulder, a sign that she understands. "Thanks, partner."

When they have all gone, the door has been locked and the coffee cups have been brought to the kitchen, Maura feels exhausted. She has never had so many feelings in such a short period of time, let alone so many conflicting feelings. She feels nothing but love towards the Rizzoli's, Frost and Korsak for their support, but she's afraid of the impact this illness will have on her life and the relationships with the people around her. And, even though she's a scientist and knows that the odds just weren't in her favor, she can't help but wonder why this is happening to her of all people.

Jane sees that Maura's struggling and pulls her into a hug, this one being somehow more comforting than the ones they've had in the past few minutes. Maura doesn't pull back, neither does Jane. They stand in Maura's hallway for a while, simply holding each other. When Maura does pull back, the first thing she notices is how hard this evening has also been on Jane. _She's hurting too._ Her eyes are dull and she looks exhausted as well.

"Thank you, Jane. For everything," Maura says.

That night, they fall asleep in the same bed for the first time in years.

* * *

 **A/N: So there's that. I wanted to start this chapter with some happy feelings, because I don't want every chapter to only be filled with negative and sad stuff. There's enough of that coming since Maura's chemotherapy will start "tomorrow", meaning in the next chapter. For now, thank you so much for reading and please leave a review! :)**

 _ **Song: Christine - Christine and the Queens**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews and follows. I can't imagine so many people actually actually enjoying this story!  
In the previous chapter I stated that Maura had to talk to Cavanaugh in order to get some time off. As two guests have correctly pointed out, Cavanaugh isn't Maura's boss. She's the Chief ME and that means her actual boss is the Governor. Thanks to the "guests" for clearing that up! :)**

 **Vbbneighbor: Thanks for you continued support on every chapter! Janeandmaura05: I won't tell you, that would be spoiling ;) Meko04: I'm very sorry to hear that. Something I've learned is to never give up hope, even though that's really hard. Family, or at least someone who supports you, is very important to have during a time like this. Also, because you're not the one who's ill, doesn't mean that you're not allowed to ask for support or help. Such a diagnosis can be very hard on the ones close to the person too. Be there and with your sister, but please don't forget about yourself. If you ever need anyone, please PM me :)**

 **Sorry for the long note, happy reading!**

* * *

It starts to rain when they're on their way to the hospital. Big, heavy raindrops make their way down the windows, and Jane has to pull her hand from Maura's for a second to put on the windshield wipers. They don't talk.

Maura's mind is racing. Her first chemotherapy starts today, on Tuesday. She won't get out of the hospital until Friday. Then she'll have roughly two weeks to recover from the first chemotherapy before her second one starts.

"We're here," Jane's voice pulls her from her thoughts. She looks up at Jane, into those dark brown eyes that have always made her feel safe. She nods and unfastens her seat belt before getting out of the car. She waits for Jane to get out of the car and although she's not a hugger, she nearly knocks Jane over with the force of her hug. She lays her head on Jane's chest, finding comfort in the sound of her heartbeat and the strong arms wrapped around her.

They stay there for a while, Jane with her arms wrapped around Maura and her chin on top of Maura's head. It's still raining heavily, but neither woman seems to care.

It isn't until they hear the sound of a thunderstorm approaching that they decide to go towards the entrance of the hospital. As they walk inside, Jane knows that this is definitely not the last time she'll walk through these doors. That this won't be the last time they get on the elevator and press the button of the seventh floor.

It's only the first time.

When they're on their way to the seventh floor, Jane grabs Maura's hand. They don't talk about what that means. They don't define what this is, what they are. All Jane cares about right now is being there for Maura, trying hard to push her own feelings aside.

The woman behind the counter greets them politely, asking for Maura's patient number and birth date. She tells them to take a seat in the waiting room, a doctor will come to get them and bring Maura to her room. She'd requested a personal room, most people have to stay in a larger room with about six other patients. You're always free to request a personal room, unless your illness is contagious, but you're not certain you'll actually get one. In this case, Maura is lucky.

"Do you want to talk?" Jane asks, when they're in the waiting room. "Not about today, I mean, you could if you want to. But just about anything."

Maura shakes her head, already finding comfort in the feeling of Jane's hand in hers. They will get through this. They always do.

* * *

Maura didn't want Jane to see all the medical procedures, such as the drip being administered, so she told Jane to go back to work. Jane wouldn't hear of it at first, because she couldn't leave Maura alone right now, but it seemed that was what she wanted at that moment.

Now, Jane finds herself sitting in the driver's seat, keys in the ignition. She doesn't drive away just yet, not knowing how she'll get through this day.

She promised Maura to visit her in the evening, giving them both something to look forward to.

The realization that there's a chance she'll lose the best friend she's ever had, hit her hard when she left Maura's room. She knows that she must remain optimistic, like Maura does, but she finds that that's one of the hardest things to do.

She turns her keys to start the car and does what she always does.

She carries on.

* * *

When Jane arrives at work, the day has already begun for most people in the building. She walks into the bullpen, surprised to see that neither Frost nor Korsak is sitting behind their desk.

She takes a look at her phone, but there are no missed calls.

Agent Carter, from the drug unit, walks past her on his way to the elevator. "Ey Rizzoli! Looking for something?"

"Uhh, someone, yes. You seen Frost and Korsak?" She responds.

"Yeah, they were just on their way out. Like, a couple of minutes ago. Murder, I guess," he says.

"Do you know where they were headed to?"

"I heard Frost say something about Roxbury, nothing helpful though. You should probably give them a call," he says and gets on the elevator.

She nods, thanking him before walking back to her desk.

 _The survival rate is 30- No. Don't go there._

She sighs and sits down before speed dialing Frost to ask him where the hell he is.

* * *

After a long, frustrating day, Jane visits Maura in the hospital. It's ten past eight and Maura is watching the news on her iPad when Jane enters the room. She doesn't hear Jane come in, which gives Jane the opportunity to look at her. She looks pale and so small under the white hospital blankets, her honey blonde locks falling loosely around her shoulders.

Jane walks towards the bed and drags a chair with her, the movement making Maura look up.

The edges of her eyes are red, an obvious sign that she has been crying.

Jane sits down, waiting until Maura has placed her earphones and iPad on the table next to her before she reaches for her hand.

"How have you been holding up?" She asks, gently.

"Well, considering the amount of chemicals that have been put in my body today, okay," Maura answers.

The machine next to the bed makes a "bleep" noise. Maura looks at it before pressing the red button on the wall.

"What's that mean?" Jane asks, immediately worried.

"It's fine, it just means a new bag of GemVin needs to be attached," Maura says. Jane looks at her, clueless. "A what now?"

"Gemcitabine and Vinorelbine. It's one of the most common treatments for this type of cancer," she explains.

"But why press the red button? Red usually means that's something's wrong," Jane says, still not convinced.

"It lets the nurses know that I'm in need of assistance. One of them will be here in a few minutes to ask if everything's alright. It's fine, Jane."

Jane absentmindedly traces her fingers over Maura's knuckles, for once not knowing what to say. When she looks up, Maura is staring into space.

"Maura," Jane says, her voice pulling her best friend from her thoughts. "Talk to me."

It takes a while before Maura's able to formulate a sentence. "I spoke with my doctor today," she starts, "He said .. I can't .. I don't want to lose my hair, Jane." Tears well up in her eyes, but Jane doesn't get up from her chair just yet. She simply continues to hold Maura's hand, waiting for her to finish.

"He told me that it's common for people to start losing their hair after the first chemo. I'm not ready for this," Maura's voice strains with the effort of keeping her tears at bay. "I don't want to look ugly."

At this, Jane does get up, only to sit back down again on the edge of the hospital bed. She now takes both of Maura's hands into hers, making sure to look her best friend in the eye. _Those hazel eyes. I could look into them forever._

 _That's not the point, Jane,_ she reminds herself.

"I need you to listen to me now. Are you listening?" Jane says. Maura nods, pulling back her hand for a second to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

Jane waits until Maura puts her hand back before she continues.

"You, my beautiful best friend, will never **ever** be ugly. Alright? I'm going to make sure you'll have one of the coolest hats ever. Or I'll buy you a beanie. But losing your hair doesn't make you any less beautiful. I promise. And if someone says so, you should let me know."

"So you can threaten them just like you did with those women in prison?" Maura asks, giggling. Jane smiles too, knowing that this smile is all she wants to see for the rest of her life. She will do anything to make this woman smile.

"Yeah, exactly."

They just sit there smiling at each other until the nurse comes in. "Your machine probably made a sound," she says before Maura can say anything.

Maura nods, breaking eye contact with Jane to look at the nurse.

"Okay, I'm going to get a new bag of GemVin. Why don't you two watch some TV? The remote is in the top drawer, I'm sure you'll figure it out," the nurse says.

The nurse leaves the room and Maura carefully scoots over, managing to not get caught up in the tubes when she reaches for the remote. While she turns on the TV, Jane slides under the covers next to her, her long legs barely fitting on the bed.

"ESPN?" Jane asks hopefully. Maura shakes her head. "Yankees beat the Sox. History channel?"

Jane exhales dramatically. "Okaaaay. Fine."

A few minutes into the documentary, the nurse comes in with a new GemVin bag. "Name and birth date?" she asks, this being part of the standard procedure.

"Maura Isles, 7th of August 1976," Maura responds automatically.

The nurse checks the information before putting up the new bag and checking the machine. She smiles at Jane, who's studying her from her place on the bed. Maura is already back to watching the documentary, but Jane watches every movement the nurse makes. It isn't until she has gone that Jane is able to relax a little, surrounded by Maura's smell and presence. Everything feels a little bit better now.

They watch TV until Maura, just like two days ago, falls asleep on Jane's shoulder, the events of the day combined with the medicines taking their toll.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry for the crappy, short chapter. I had a) no time and b) no inspiration. Major writers block. Also, sorry it took so long to finish this chapter! Hope you liked it anyway, please leave a review to let me know :)**

 **I'm going on a school trip to Ypres tomorrow and I won't be able to write until Wednesday. Just so you know.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow! So many followers already. Thank you so much! As you may have noticed, I replaced the "xxx" between the paragraphs with a horizontal line. I like this better ;)**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

It's 5PM on a Friday afternoon and Jane is on her way to the hospital. Maura has just finished her third cycle of chemotherapy and is allowed to go home, something she has been looking forward to since they went to the hospital on Tuesday.

When Jane enters Maura's room, she isn't up and ready to go like she was the last two times. Instead, Maura is still lying on the hospital bed.

"Maura? Are you ready?" Jane asks gently, not knowing what's wrong this time.

"I'm feeling even worse than two weeks ago. My blood pressure is too low and I feel so sick," Maura answers, looking up at Jane with tired hazel eyes.

Jane opens the door of the closet and finds Maura's bag, already packed. "Can you walk? I'll carry you all the way to the car if I have to, but I'm not sure that's a really good idea when you're already feeling so sick," Jane says.

Maura shifts until she's in a sitting position and holds her hand against her forehead, as if that would prevent her from becoming dizzy.

"If you could just hold my hand, I think I'll be okay," she says, pushing herself up.

"Anytime," Jane answers, grabbing Maura's arm to keep her from falling over. She grabs Maura's phone from the bed and takes her bag with her, holding it with her right hand while keeping Maura up with her left.

They make it to the car like that and Maura is incredibly happy to be able to sit down again. She feels like a burden to Jane, who's someone who needs work and social contacts in order to remain content. And she, Maura, is pulling her away from all of that.

"Jane," she starts when they pull out of the parking lot, "I don't want you to visit me every day."

Jane looks at her, surprised. "But Maura, I-"

"Your days are long enough. I cannot ask you to visit me after a 14-hour day at work. You also have a life outside of this hospital."

 _ **You** are my life_, Jane wants to say.

"Maur, let me tell you something. Over the past few years, I've given up more than half of my vacation days. Cavanaugh told me today that I should take some time off, so I decided to do that and put in a request for annual leave. And no, I'm not taking that back," Jane quickly adds, before Maura is able to interrupt her.

She must break eye contact with Maura when the car behind them honks, pointing out to Jane that the traffic light has already turned green. She focuses on the road again, waiting for a response from Maura. It doesn't come.

"Are you mad at me for caring about you?" Jane asks after a while, wanting to know exactly what Maura is thinking about.

It takes another mile for Maura to finally answer.

"I'm just having trouble coming to terms with the idea of having someone who cares about me. I've never really had someone like that before. Wait, that sounded wrong, I just ... you've always been a great friend, but I somehow didn't expect you to stay through all of this."

This answer is definitely one of the most honest, but at the same time saddest Jane has ever heard from Maura. Of course she knows about Maura's past and her struggles to make friends, but she didn't know Maura actually expected Jane to leave her.

All Jane can see is a young, bright girl with honey blonde locks falling around her shoulders, sweet to everyone and everything. Then Jane imagines that young, bright girl completely torn apart when she was left by someone who apparently meant a lot to her. The thought alone is already heartbreaking.

They don't talk during the rest of the car ride, Jane tries to put into words the way she feels about Maura and fails, and Maura wonders if she said something she shouldn't have.

* * *

"I'm going to take a shower," Maura says when they arrive at home.

"Yeah, sure," Jane answers while she walks into the kitchen, placing Maura's bag on the counter. "I'll unpack this and make some dinner. Do you want something?"

Maura shakes her head before heading upstairs, holding on tightly to the railing to make sure she doesn't fall over.

It isn't until fifteen minutes have passed that Jane notices she still hasn't heard the sound of water running upstairs. What she does hear when she walks upstairs, is the sound of Maura throwing up. _Damn it Jane,_ she says to herself while taking two stairs at a time. _You should've known._

"Maur?" Jane asks when she opens the bathroom door. Maura is sitting on her knees in front of the toilet, struggling to catch her breath. Jane immediately walks towards her, carefully rubbing Maura's back before pushing her beanie slightly backwards. "Don't," Maura says, voice rough from throwing up.

Normally, Jane would thread her hands through honey blonde locks, but after the first chemotherapy, just as Maura predicted, her hair started falling out. She decided to cut it, something she didn't want Jane to see. Since then, she's only worn beanies around Jane, already feeling ashamed when a doctor comes in and she isn't wearing one. So just imagine the way she would feel if Jane saw her bald head. She feels ugly and uncomfortable, although she knows there's nothing she can do about it. At night, she wears a scarf around her head, the material being slightly more comfortable for the night. And it prevents Jane from seeing her without her blonde locks.

Maura flushes the toilet and pushes herself up, immediately going to the sink to wash her hands. Jane stays, wanting to help her best friend but not knowing how.

"Do you want me to help you?" Jane asks, although she already knows what the answer will be.

"It's okay Jane. Really," Maura answers. Jane tries one more time. "But Maur, what if you faint because of your low blood pressure. Or what if-"

"I'm feeling better now."

Jane sighs, knowing better than to argue. "Fine, but I want you to go to bed after you've taken your shower. You need to rest, Maura."

She makes sure to close the bathroom door behind her before heading down the stairs, leaving Maura alone to shower.

Jane makes herself a proper meal for the first time in weeks. Her dinner actually contains vegetables, that's definitely a first. Maura should be proud of her.

She sits down on the couch and switches on the TV. The Sox are playing at 9PM, but that isn't for another two hours. She decides to watch the 7 o'clock news, finish her meal and check up on Maura afterwards.

* * *

When Jane enters the bedroom after half an hour, Maura is still awake.

"How are you feeling?" Jane asks while walking towards the window to close the curtains.

"Well, I'm okay as long as I don't move around too much," Maura says.

"Is there anything I can do?" Jane asks. Maura nods. "My clothes are still hanging over the chair. I didn't have the energy to take them downstairs," she says while closing her eyes when another wave of nausea hits her.

"I'll take them downstairs and make sure they get washed," Jane answers while grabbing the clothes from the chair. She turns around to look at Maura before heading towards the bed. "You try to sleep now," Jane says and gives Maura's hand a squeeze. Maura barely manages to nod, she's so exhausted.

Jane lets go of Maura's hand and walks towards the door, when Maura's voice stops her.

"Jane," Maura says, already half-asleep, "my skirt has to be dry-cleaned, not washed." Jane laughs at that, it's the first time in a long while that she has actually laughed out loud. "It'll be okay, Maur. I may have a horrible taste in clothes, but I know your skirt has to be dry-cleaned."

Jane closes the bedroom door on the sight of Maura smiling.

She watches the Sox game at nine, trying not to yell at the TV when she doesn't agree with what's happening. At eleven thirty, she cleans up and locks the doors before finally heading upstairs towards their bedroom. _Our bedroom?_

Maura is fast asleep when Jane enters the room, but stirs when Jane slides in bed next to her.

"Shh, it's okay," Jane whispers. "Keep sleeping." The sound of her voice seems to relax Maura, who turns on her side but doesn't wake up.

Jane wants nothing more than to wrap her arms around Maura, but knows she can't do that. They have been sleeping next to each other for more than a month now, but they've never gone further than holding hands. And that was only when Maura was afraid, or couldn't sleep, or both. Jane is terrified of crossing the line, without even knowing where that line is. It's undeniable that there's something going on between them, something way beyond friendship, but she can't quite place it.

Jane doesn't want to break their spell, so instead of wrapping her arms around Maura, she simply listens to Maura's breathing until sleep finds her as well.

* * *

The next morning, Jane is the first to wake up. The sun shines through the blinds, making Maura's face glow. The lines on her face are gone now, as well as the purple lines below her eyes. Jane is, once again, completely mesmerized by her beauty.

She looks so peaceful when she's asleep. No reports that have to be finished or autopsies that have to be done, or these days appointments she has to go to. Nothing.

Jane props herself up on her elbow, trying to get a better look at her best friend. She really wants to run her fingers over Maura's cheek, down to her neck and her collarbone and- _Stop it, Jane._

She's afraid she might wake Maura if she touches her, but when she looks at the clock on Maura's nightstand, she sees it's already 10AM. Without thinking, she carefully traces Maura's jawbone and cheek with her fingers, knowing it will most likely wake her up, but not really caring right now. She'll stay in bed with Maura all day if she's still tired, and wants to continue sleeping.

Jane keeps stroking Maura's cheek until she stirs, eyes fluttering open. She looks at Jane sleepily, a soft smile playing on her lips.

All Jane can do is stare into Maura's hazel eyes, finally realizing what has been obvious to everybody else all along.

She's in love.

* * *

 **A/N: Short, once again. I'll make up for that in the upcoming chapters, I've just had a very busy week. I don't want to write a long, crappy chapter, I'd much rather write a short, good chapter. Quality over quantity, you guys.**

 **I love reading reviews, so please let me know what you think :)**

 **M.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Just so you all know, this is the global treatment plan: 3 cycles of chemotherapy, surgery, recovery, 3 cycles of chemotherapy. This may be shorter than the actual cycles and times chemotherapy is given, but this fic would get waaay too long otherwise. Right now, we have had the third cycle of chemotherapy and are heading towards the surgery. I have no idea how or if I'm going to write about the actual surgery; you may get some information, but since I'm not a doctor, I have not idea how these surgeries work.**

 **I was inspired by the episode "Gone Daddy Gone", as you will notice when Jane makes a suggestion for a board game ;)**

 **P.S. This chapter is a continuation of the day that started at the end of chapter 5.**

* * *

Jane was the first one to get out of bed. She decided to take a shower to try and wash away all the things she felt, but it didn't work in the slightest. She now finds herself in the kitchen, deciding what to make for breakfast while trying not to think about Maura's hazel eyes.

She is still standing in the same spot when Maura joins her after a couple of minutes, wearing a simple pair of sweatpants and a tank top. She looks gorgeous.

"I don't think I have something to eat, actually," Maura says while opening the fridge.

Jane, being hungry as always, suddenly thinks of something. "Let's bake cookies! I know it's not a proper breakfast, but once in a while won't hurt, right?" She looks at Maura, trying to figure out what she thinks of it.

"But, Jane, we can't. I could order them if you want to, so we don't have to-"

"Maur! The point is to bake them, not buy them. That takes away all the fun," Jane says, throwing a smile over her shoulder while opening some of the cupboards. "My mom used to do this all the time, you know. I must admit that, despite I hate waiting for the oven to finish, I love baking cookies. This should work," she throws a flour sack on the counter, along with some other things.

"But," Maura sputters, "I should get changed. And you too. You just showered!" Jane watches her with amusement, patiently waiting until she's finished.

"You can wear sweatpants while baking cookies, Maura," she says. "And it's not like we're gonna get dirty."

She's so wrong.

When Angela comes barging in halfway through their baking process, she finds them, Jane with flour in her hair and two whites stripes on each cheek, Maura with a tank top that is now more white than black. They're laughing so loudly; they haven't heard her come in, which means she gets the chance to see the girls laugh for the first time in ages. Maura looks up at Jane, eyes full of adoration and happiness. She hasn't ever seen someone look at her daughter like that, not even Charles. God, he hated it when she called him that.

"Hey girls!"

Both Jane and Maura stop dead in their tracks, looking at each other before making eye contact with Angela.

"Uhh, hey Ma."

"Hi Angela. I'm sorry, we were just," Maura starts, but stops when Angela holds up her hand. "No apologies, girls. It's your house after all, Maura. I'm the guest here."

Jane wonders what her mother's thinking. The smile playing at the corners of her mother's mouth suggests that she's definitely thinking **something**.

"I'll leave you two alone for now. I do want some cookies though, if they make it out of the oven alive," she says, turning back around and heading for the front door. Jane watches her go, surprised by the fact that her mother leaves so easily. She turns around towards Maura, who's looking up at her questioningly.

"You got some, uhh, flour on your nose," Jane says, looking into hazel eyes.

Maura blushes, reaching up with her hand to brush it off. "You got some on your cheek," she responds teasingly, knowing very well that Jane did that herself.

Jane doesn't brush it off, instead dips her fingers in the sack of flour and draws the exact same stripes on Maura's cheeks.

"Now we're a match," she says. Maura simply smiles at her before continuing.

 _I thought you out of all people would understand that innuendo,_ Jane thinks. She's not the type of person to talk about her feelings, so she either responds sarcastically or gives answers that can mean two things. _Maybe she understood, but doesn't feel the same._ That thought immediately makes Jane feel terrified. She decides to not think about that right now, pushing the thought far away into a very deep corner of her mind, and carries on.

After an hour and even more laughter, the cookies are ready to be taken out of the oven. Maura puts the plate on the counter while Jane is looking for something. "What are you doing?" Maura asks. Jane doesn't respond, instead grabs something that Maura can't see.

"You wanna play chess?" Jane asks out of the blue. Maura looks at her, surprised. "I didn't know you could play."

"Who do you think taught Tommy?" Jane says, smiling. She puts the chessboard on the table and stars arranging the pieces.

It doesn't take long for Maura to join her with a cup of tea for herself, a cup of coffee for Jane and a plate filled with cookies.

"I'll start with my knight to C3, please," she says and sits down opposite of Jane.

They play in silence for a while, both thinking about their next move. Maura is pulled from her thoughts when Jane loosens her ponytail, causing her jet black hair to fall down her shoulders. _I'm staring again,_ Maura realizes. She quickly averts her eyes and concentrates on the chessboard.

Still, she's fascinated by Jane. The way her eyebrow twitches slightly when she's thinking about what her next move should be, or the smirk that appears on her face when she knows she's done something good. "I never knew you could be so patient," Maura says, very surprised, because Jane usually can't even sit still during dinner.

Jane looks up at her with a smile. "I'm not. You have no idea how much self-control this takes."

Maura reaches towards the plate to grab another cookie, only to feel very self-conscious when Jane watches her eat. She's smiling, though.

Without breaking eye-contact, Jane says "Queen to G6. Checkmate, Maur."

Maura looks at the chessboard while Jane moves her queen to G6. She quickly checks all the possible options for her king, her rook and her bishop, only to come to the conclusion that Jane is right. She has officially lost her first game of chess against Jane.

When she looks up at her best friend, she is met by an expression of pride. She feels her heart rate speed up when the woman in front of her bites her lip, after saying "I won," in that deep voice of hers.

"Congratulations, Jane," she says when she has finally found her voice. "You're even better than I expected."

Jane laughs. "You must've had really low expectations, then."

Maura can't help but sigh at Jane's response. "You shouldn't do that."

"What?"

"Talking about yourself like that. You're smart too, Jane. You don't have to respond to every compliment with sarcasm." She knows her best friend too well, and she can see in Jane's eyes that she has hit a sensitive subject. She waits for Jane to answer, letting her decide where this conversation is going.

Jane, as expected, immediately drops the subject, moving on to something else while putting the chessboard back in the box.

Maura looks at the clock on the kitchen wall: 12:30PM.

"You've officially been able to sit still for over two hours," Maura says, unable to keep the smile out of her voice. Jane smiles back at her before getting up and putting the chessboard back in one of the closets. Maura gets up too, taking her cup and the plate, now empty, with her to the kitchen.

She feels Jane's presence behind her when she puts the plate in the dishwasher and immediately feels goosebumps all over her body. _What is it about Jane's presence that always causes goosebumps?_ She turns around to face Jane, who looks at her questioningly.

"Hey Maur, I was wondering if you would go on a trip with me. Just for the weekend. The surgery isn't until next week and I thought maybe you could use some distraction," Jane says, not failing to notice how her best friend's face falls halfway through her sentence.

"I, uhh," Maura starts, "as much as I would like that, I don't think this is the right time. I can't stop thinking about the surgery, Jane. I don't want that to spoil our weekend. I'd much rather go afterwards, so I don't have to be nervous all day long."

Along with the nervousness, the effects of chemotherapy also play a role in Maura's decision. The chemotherapy kills not only the bad cells, the good ones are killed too, meaning she feels absolutely exhausted. A trip is really not something she can even think about right now, although the idea of spending a few days with Jane does sound appealing. No interference from Angela, Frost or Frankie, meaning she would finally be able to confront Jane about their feelings.

Although the answer isn't one Jane expected, she understands.

"How about we just watch movies all weekend with a cup of hot chocolate? I'll even read magazines with you. If I get to choose my own magazine," she quickly adds.

Maura smiles, loving the way Jane understands. She always understands.

"Thank you, Jane."

* * *

Jane wanted to watch Pirates of the Caribbean, but finally settled for something more "real", as Maura described it. They now find themselves on the couch, both with their hands wrapped around a cup of hot chocolate. It hasn't gone unnoticed by Maura that Jane shifted closer to her just a minute ago, but she decided not to say anything.

Maura waits until about half an hour into the movie before she finally puts her hand on Jane's thigh. She feels Jane's muscles jump, however, the brunette manages to stay perfectly still. She softly traces Jane's upper leg, not noticing the effect she's having on her best friend.

Jane has to work very hard to not put her hand over Maura's to stop her. Her left arm is wrapped around Maura, her right is holding the blanket that's covering them. Maura's hand on her thigh is extremely distracting, but she doesn't want her to stop.

It again doesn't take very long for Maura to move even closer to her and put her head on Jane's shoulder, just like the last time they were watching TV together. Also like the last time, she falls asleep within minutes, exhaustion being one of the side-effects of chemotherapy.

Jane, however, keeps watching the movie with Maura's hand resting comfortably on her thigh. She lets Maura sleep, content with just sitting there and listening to Maura's breathing, even after the movie has finished. When Maura stirs, Jane reaches for her hand and squeezes it softly, waiting for familiar hazel eyes to look up.

"Was the movie that boring?" Jane jokes, wanting to see that smile again.

She does get to see it, although only for a few seconds, because Maura pushes herself up from the couch. "I really want to get some sleep."

"I think you just did," Jane says, smiling. Maura smiles back. "I know. I mean in an actual bed, not on your shoulder. Although I was very comfortable."

Jane tries to hide her blush, but you can't hide your feelings from the person who knows you better than anyone else. Luckily for Jane, Maura doesn't say anything.

"I'll join you in a few," Jane says. It has already become normal for them to sleep in the same bed.

 _Just friends don't do this every night._

* * *

The next day is tough for Maura. With each passing day, her surgery comes closer, and she's constantly thinking about it. Jane notices, but doesn't talk to her about it. If Maura wants to talk, she'll do that. So they spend the day on the couch, reading the magazines Jane was talking about yesterday. Jane is reading her own sports magazine like she wanted, while Maura is reading scientific articles that contain words Jane can't even pronounce. Every once in a while, Jane glances up at Maura, loving how her best friend is completely engrossed in the magazine.

During one of these frequent moments of distraction, Jane catches a few words from a song that's playing on the radio.

 _Your love is the hopeless_  
 _Light that I need  
To remind me I'm living  
And I still need it_

When Maura looks up at her, Jane knows that she has heard it too. They simply sit and stare at each other, letting the voice on the radio fill the room.

 _You're proof that I'm breathing_  
 _And that I still need_  
 _To be loved and to hear you_  
 _Whisper to me_

 _You're enough_

Jane can't fight the tears that well up in her eyes. This song is an exact description of her feelings, feelings she has tried to write down many times. Every single time, she couldn't find the words to describe the way she feels. Somehow, this song does just that.

 _I guess that's the most_  
 _Honest thing I've written yet_  
 _So here goes_  
 _Forgive me I'll sing it again_  
 _Don't forget  
Don't forget me_

When the song ends, both Jane and Maura are crying. Jane doesn't know what's running through Maura's head, what she's thinking right now. _Does she feel the same?_ _Of course, you idiot. Why else would she be crying? Umm, her surgery is soon? Why don't you just ask her, you stupid -_

"Jane," the sound of Maura's voice pulls her from her thoughts and she looks at her best friend. The moment their eyes make contact, Jane can't help but throw her magazine on the floor and wrap her arms around Maura. She buries her head in Maura's neck, the unique smell of her perfume having a calming effect on her.

When Jane pulls back to look into her best friend's eyes, they both can't deny the tension that's definitely in the air. Maura notices how Jane's eyes occasionally dart to her lips, only to look into her eyes again.

 _Do it,_ she can't help but think. _I've been waiting for so long._

It's of course at that exact moment the doorbell rings, startling them both. Jane quickly moves away, giving Maura the space to get up and answer the door. "It's, it's probably just my book. I ordered a new one because I've finished all of my old ones in the hospital," Maura says, voice shaking slightly.

When Maura re-enters the living room and puts the box on the counter, Jane is already standing in front of the fridge to get something to drink. They don't talk about what just happened, or what **almost** happened. Of course they don't.

Jane, being the person she is, doesn't ever talk about her feelings. The gorgeous Maura Isles can't possibly be in **love** with her. There's just no way.

Maura, being the person she is, doesn't do that often either. She's afraid Jane doesn't feel the same, which would definitely make things awkward, and Jane is the best friend she has ever had, if not to say only. She doesn't want to ruin their friendship.

They're silent for now, but both women know that someone will give in soon enough.

They just don't know who will, and most importantly, what will happen.

For time being, these thoughts are enough to keep them occupied, and it's the first time in weeks Maura doesn't think about her surgery.

* * *

 **Yes, I know you don't usually get up and bake cookies the day after your third chemo. In reality you'll spend most of the day in bed, but I decided to lessen the side-effects a bit. It's not very appealing if Maura keeps throwing up throughout the chapters, so that's kinda why I chose this path.  
** **Also, I'm trying to work on writing longer chapters, although I'm not quite sure I'm happy with how this turned out. I hope you enjoyed it, leave a review if you have anything to say :)**

 _ **Song: The Pugilist - Keaton Henson**_


	7. Chapter 7

**It's late, I'm tired, but it's been a while since I updated. So, enjoy this piece uploaded at 12AM. Rest of the A/N at the bottom.**

* * *

Maura's surgery is tomorrow. Jane is terrified.

Maura has gone upstairs a few minutes ago and Jane decides to grab a beer, simply wanting to watch TV and take her mind off things. She opens the fridge, looking for a beer, noticing how Maura seems to know exactly which brand she likes. She takes a beer opener out of a drawer, not hearing Maura walk down the stairs.

When Maura rounds the corner, she notices that Jane hasn't heard her yet. The brunette is standing in front of the counter, trying to open a bottle of beer. Her back is towards Maura. Jane struggles and, in a moment of frustration, almost slams the bottle against the counter.

"Do you want me to get you a cup of coffee?" Maura says, still standing in the same spot. Jane doesn't answer immediately, so Maura waits.

She sees Jane take a deep breath, only to hold it in instead of release it. Jane shudders, her next inhale being more of a gasp than an actual breath. She's trembling, but it isn't until she releases that first sob that Maura approaches her. She wraps her arms around Jane from behind, feeling the way her best friend shakes under her touch. Maura stands patiently, knowing Jane well enough to not force her to talk. It takes a while, but Jane eventually speaks.

"I'm so scared, Maur," she whispers. Her voice trembles, just like her body.

Maura doesn't ask why. She knows Jane is frightened, because she is too. She knows the procedure of the surgery, but knowing it and actually having to undergo it are two completely different things. So she simply keeps holding Jane, trying to get her to calm down.

"Why don't you go upstairs as well?" she asks. "You could really use some sleep, Jane."

She feels Jane shake her head. "Nah, Maur. I just want to watch some TV. I'll be fine." She almost misses it, but the tremble in Jane's voice still hasn't disappeared.

She unwraps herself from Jane and pulls on her shirt, waiting for her to turn around. Jane complies, looking straight into Maura's eyes.

They stand like that for a few seconds before Jane is the one to break the silence. "You should go to bed, Maura. I'll be there in a few."

Maura nods, knowing that arguing would be futile. She smiles briefly at Jane before turning around and heading back upstairs.

(..)

When, after two hours, Jane still hasn't joined her in bed, Maura decides to check up on her. Even though she's exhausted, the thoughts about the surgery are keeping her up. She gets out of bed and walks down the stairs, towards the living room.

When she rounds the corner, she sees Jane sitting on the edge of the couch with her head buried in her hands. Seven empty beer bottles are on the table in front of her.

 _Oh no, Jane._

She approaches Jane carefully, not wanting to scare her.

"Hey," she says softly, now standing in front of Jane. Her best friend looks up at her, pupils dilated. "Heeyyy Maur," she slurs.

Maura takes Jane's hands and pulls her up from the couch, just managing to grab her when she stumbles. "What r you doing?" Jane says.

"Honey, I need you to come with me," Maura says.

"Mauraaa. Don't wanna," is the response from Jane.

"Jane, you're drunk. Come on. Let's get you some water and then you really need to go to bed." She wraps her arm around Jane's back, holding her up while dragging her to the kitchen.

After she has forced Jane to drink some water, she takes her upstairs, which requires some effort since Jane can barely get up the stairs. When they finally make it to the bedroom, Maura has to make the decision whether to undress her best friend or just let her sleep with her clothes on. She goes with the first option.

"Lift your arms," she says and, to her surprise, Jane does what she's told.

Maura takes off her shirt and pants, trying to ignore the fact that the woman she loves is now standing in front of her in nothing but her underwear.

She is pulled from her thoughts when Jane coughs. "I feel sick, Maur," she says, eyes unfocused.

"Yes, that's not much of a surprise since you've just had seven bottles of beer. I need you to turn around so I can take off your bra, then you need to put this on for me," she says, holding a tank top in front of Jane.

Jane complies, somehow managing to put on the tank top without losing her balance. She turns back around to look at Maura, who's definitely checking her out, something Jane doesn't notice due to her current state of inebriation.

Maura makes sure Jane gets in bed first before heading to the bathroom to get another glass of water for Jane, for when she wakes up. When she gets back, Jane is already fast asleep.

* * *

When Jane wakes up, she feels like crap. She looks over at the nightstand, notices the glass that's filled with water and immediately knows she didn't put it there. And why is she only wearing a pair of boxers and a tanktop?

The events of last night slowly come back to her. "Shit," she mutters under her breath. Maura, who's standing in front of the closet, turns around. "You're awake."

Jane gets up, only to sit back down on the edge of the bed when a wave of nausea washes over her. "Maura, I'm so sorry," she says, while standing up more carefully.

"I should've known you weren't okay, Jane. I shouldn't have gone back upstairs," Maura replies, but Jane doesn't want to hear of it.

"You shouldn't even have to be there in the first place. I'm a grown woman. It's my fucked up brain that thought it would be a good idea to get drunk the evening before your surgery. I was supposed to be there for you," she says.

Maura approaches her and takes her hands, looking into her eyes. "It's a way of coping with everything that's going on. I just wish you would've talked to me instead of drinking seven bottles."

"I drank seven?! Shit Maur, I'm sorry, I never-" Jane starts, but is interrupted by Maura. "Stop swearing, Jane. It happened. We're okay now."

Jane looks up at her, grateful for not getting mad. She wants to wrap her arms around Maura, but immediately stops when she sees the clock on the wall. Maura follows her line of sight and her eyes widen. "Jane! We need to be at the hospital in forty minutes!"

Jane can't help but burst into laughter at Maura's current state of panic, making Maura laugh, which makes them forget about the surgery for a moment.

* * *

 _Do you think I'd leave your side baby?  
You know me better than that  
Think I'd leave you down  
When you're down on your knees?  
I wouldn't do that_

When Maura wakes up, the first thing she feels is a warm, rough hand in hers.

 _Jane._

She looks up and is met by dark brown eyes that, if she's right, look a little teary. "Hey Maur," Jane croaks. _Yes, definitely emotional._

She manages a smile, although she feels disoriented due to loud noises and people talking. Jane must notice, because she leans in to be closer to her. "You're in the high dependency unit. You're okay."

It doesn't take long before a doctor comes to check up on her. He checks Maura's blood pressure and asks if she feels any pain, so he can adjust the dose of painkillers. He checks her chest drain and the feeding tube to make sure that everything's okay, which it is.

"You're doing great. You'll be back in your own room in no time," he says.

Maura nods, not able to do more. The medication makes her feel extremely tired and fuzzy, although she doesn't feel sick.

When he has left the room, Maura looks up at Jane again. She pulls her left hand from Jane's reaching up to her best friends face.

"Don't look so worried," she says, tracing the creases on Jane's forehead.

 _And if you want to cry  
I am here to dry your eyes  
And in no time, you'll be fine_

Jane smiles at her. She smiles back.

When she looks out the window, she sees big snowflakes falling down on the roofs of the buildings around the hospital. "Look!" she says.

Jane turns around and sees it too. Her face lights up and the creases disappear slightly, making Jane's face look a little less worrisome. She looks just like a little kid who sees snow for the first time, that's how big her smile is. If Maura could store this image in her mind forever, she definitely would.

"Maur, the second you're allowed and able to sit in a wheelchair, I'm taking you outside," the brunette says.

"But, Jane," Maura sputters, "I might not be able to do that until tomorrow or even the day after. You can't stay here that long."

Jane looks at her incredulous. "Maur, I've got nothing else to do. I **want** to stay here with you. And I need to be here to save you from my mom, who's definitely coming tomorrow and bringing all kinds of food and people with her."

She can't help but smile. "How are you feeling?" she asks.

"Really? You're asking me? You're the one who's just had a surgery," Jane says, but stops when Maura gives her a look. "Okay, okay. I'm just a little bit tired."

"Yeah, you look like you could use some sleep," Maura says.

"Gee, thanks," Jane responds sarcastically, still smiling. She has missed those hazel eyes during the hours Maura was having surgery.

They sit like that for a while, holding hands and looking at the snow that's quietly falling onto the roofs while the evening falls.

 _When you're lost and you're alone  
And you can't get back again  
I will find you  
Darling and I will bring you home_

* * *

"Where are my girls?" Angela's voice comes from somewhere in the hallway, pulling Jane from her slumber. She didn't sleep very well, a hospital chair isn't that comfortable after all. Staying at home was definitely not an option, because she wasn't going to leave Maura.

Jane pushes herself up from the chair and quickly walks into the hallway, holding her hand up to her mother and the people she, like Jane predicted, brought along. She sees both Frankie and Frost. "Maura's still sleeping. I'm going to wake her up and you are all going to wait here. Thank you."

Before her mother or anyone else can respond, she walks back into the room, where Maura is already looking up at her with sleepy eyes.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Jane says softly.

"Your voice did," Maura replies with a smile. Jane walks up to her and squeezes her hand. "Are you ready for an invasion?" she says, raising her eyebrows slightly.

"I guess so. I don't think I've got a choice," Maura says.

The second she finishes her sentence, Angela comes in, followed by Frankie and Frost. Much to Jane's surprise, her mother doesn't start crying, which she normally does when Jane is laying in that hospital bed. Instead, her mother puts the bag she's been holding on the table and immediately walks towards the hospital bed. "Maura, my dear. How are you doing? Do you still have pain?"

While Maura and Angela are having a conversation about the surgery and how Maura feels now, Frankie puts his hand on Jane's shoulder. She shakes it off, not wanting him to comfort her. He looks at her questioningly, but understands. Frost doesn't touch her, instead makes eye contact to silently ask if everything's okay. She nods.

The doctor comes in halfway through their card game to check Maura's vitals, but everything's fine. Still, Jane can't relax. She keeps thinking about her feelings towards Maura, not knowing whether or not she should tell her. Frankie notices something's off, but he doesn't say it out loud, knowing his sister well enough to not do that. Instead, he says he's going to get a drink in the cafe on the ground floor and asks Jane to tag along, knowing she won't turn that offer down.

"You want me to come too?" Frost asks. It only takes one look from Frankie for him to understand something's up. "No hard feelings," Frankie says when he passes him on their way out. Angela doesn't notice anything, although Maura watches them go, uncertain.

Now, Jane finds herself sitting on a chair in the cafe, opposite of Frankie. She wraps her hands around a warm cup filled with coffee.

"How 'r you holding up, Jane?" he asks.

She looks at him. He has her eyes, dark brown mostly, lighter around the edges.

"I'm okay," she answers, because that's what she is. Just okay. Nothing more, nothing less.

"What's on your mind?" he asks, the look in his eyes telling her she needs to be honest now. She looks around them, as if to make sure there's no one listening in on their conversation. She takes a sip of her coffee, trying to think about what she's going to say. If she should even say anything.

Frankie waits patiently, knowing not to push. His sister can still back out of this conversation by giving a simple answer and he'll respect that if she does, but he really wants to know what's going on.

"Frankie, I," Jane starts, avoiding his eyes on purpose. "I think I might like Maura."

He doesn't laugh at her, mock or judge her. He doesn't let the shock of his sister coming out to him show on his face. He simply waits and listens, but when he realizes that's all Jane is going to say, he replies, "What's wrong with that?'

The brunette simply shrugs, not answering.

"Have you told her?" he asks. She shakes her head, taking another sip of her coffee.

He wants to ask why, but his eyes already do that for him. "Frankie, I just," she starts, "I can't. What if I mess everything up? She's my best friend. What if ... what if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she doesn't like me back?"

"What if she does?" he counters, effectively stopping her rambling.

Jane can't find an answer to that.

She decides to go with "You're an idiot," meaning _thanks for not judging me, you're awesome, I love you although I don't ever say it out loud._

And he understands.

* * *

 **A/N: As some of you may have noticed throughout the chapters, I'm having a hard time to stick to a POV. Sometimes I decide to write from Maura's POV, but then I feel like I need to write about Jane's feelings as well. I hope it doesn't annoy the hell out of you, I'll try to figure it all out somewhere along the way. Hope you enjoyed this :)**

 **Oh and by the way, thanks for the follows! I'm incredibly grateful for each and every one of you amazing humans.**

 _ **Song: By Your Side - The 1975**_


	8. Chapter 8

**My apologies. Life's been hectic. I hope this chapter will make up for the delay.**

* * *

When, after three days in the hospital, Maura is off the liquids and able to sit up straight, she's allowed to go home and rest. Jane takes her home, expecting her to stay in bed for a few more days. The reality is different.

Jane is standing in the kitchen, preparing dinner for them both. Angela had already gone grocery shopping, meaning the fridge is now filled with all kinds of food. Maura isn't able, nor is she allowed to eat any solid food, so Jane grabs her a bowl of yogurt instead.

"Jane," Maura's voice startles her and she whirls around.

"Hey, why aren't you in bed?" she asks, walking towards Maura.

"Remember how you wanted to take me on a trip before the surgery? I want to go now," Maura says.

"As in now now? But you're-" Jane starts, but Maura interrupts her. "Let me finish."

Jane obeys, curiosity now taking over.

"When you went home for a change of clothes yesterday, Angela and I talked about the idea. I even discussed it with my doctor. After a while he said it was okay for me to go, although I will most likely feel very tired for a couple of weeks. I know I need to rest, Jane, but I'd much rather do that in a cottage with a view of the ocean."

Jane hesitates. Maura is exhausted because of the surgery, but if she can make sure that they don't do much during the weekend, she could agree with it. She looks into hazel eyes and knows that this is something Maura really wants. To get away from everything that reminds her of this horrible disease. Although neither one of them knows if the surgery has been successful, although Maura is exhausted and wants nothing more than sleep, Jane knows she must do this. She'll drive to the other end of the world if that means Maura can be happy.

"Sure," she replies. "You're going to lie down on the couch, make a list of what you want to take with you and I'll pack your bags." The doctor warned them for possible problems they might encounter. Maura might feel weak and easily run out of breath, so Jane doesn't want to let her climb the stairs. "Where are we going, by the way?"

"I booked a cottage near Portland, it's a two hour drive from here," Maura replies. "I'll have to call the owner now to let them know we're definitely coming."

Jane nods before heading upstairs to pack her own bags.

* * *

They drive in silence for a while after Maura has mapped their route on her iPhone. Jane has one hand on the steering wheel, the other one is casually leaning on the window-pane. Maura is reading in her new book, but feels the exhaustion slowly take over. When her eyes fall closed, she knows she needs to rest. "Jane," she says while putting her book back in her bag on the floor. "I really want to sleep."

Brown eyes meet hers, only for a second, before focusing on the road again. "Of course, Maur," the brunette replies and turns down the volume of the car radio.

Maura shifts until she's comfortable, feet tucked underneath her and facing Jane.

While Jane is focused on the road and switching lanes, Maura has the time to admire her best friend. The strong jaw, dark brown hair and sharp eyes that make her best friend so beautiful, are even more prominent when you really pay attention to them. Maura waits until there's less traffic on the road before she grabs Jane's right hand, giving her some time to take over the wheel with her other hand.

The brunette doesn't even look at her curiously when their hands entwine, she instead acts as if this is completely normal. They both know it's not. Maura knows it's not normal to hold your best friend's hand in the car on your way to a weekend that will be spend together. It's 9PM, they have to drive for at least another hour and she can't stop her mind from wandering. She decides to look out the window and sees an illuminated village on her right. She can't help but think of all those people that live there, with all their stories and memories. They all live in their own houses with their own loved ones and families. For some reason, seeing this village and holding Jane's hand at the same time makes Maura feel hopeful. She feels something she hasn't felt before. Faith. _I'm not alone. I have friends who care about me. One day, I will live a life just like those people. I won't be lonely or feel like I don't belong._

She then realizes that since Jane, she hasn't felt lonely.

Since Jane, she hasn't felt like she didn't belong.

 _Maybe I do really need to tell her how I feel_ , she thinks, when they have passed the village. But the exhaustion has made her feel hazy, she can't stop her eyes from falling closed. And although this car is definitely not as comfortable as her own bed, there's no place she'd rather be right now. Her hand in Jane's, a band on the radio that she recognizes as The Smiths (thanks to Jane) and the soft roaring of the engine make that she falls asleep within minutes.

* * *

When they arrive at the cottage, it's 10:15PM and Maura is still fast asleep. Jane already pulled her hand from Maura's a few minutes ago, needing to have both hands on the steering wheel to park the car. The smaller woman didn't wake up, giving Jane the opportunity to wake her.

The brunette lightly strokes Maura's cheek, waiting for hazel eyes to meet hers. They do almost immediately, looking around a little disoriented.

"Hey," Jane whispers. "We're here." She's aware of her proximity to Maura, but succeeds in not letting it show. Inside, her heart is racing.

Maura sighs and stretches, grimacing when she feels how stiff her neck is. She smiles at her best friend before opening the door on her side. Jane gets out of the car as well and takes their bags out of the trunk.

They are met by a woman with jet black hair and soft eyes, who shows them around and gives some additional information about the cottage itself. If the owner is surprised by Maura's lack of hair, she doesn't let it show. Even worse, Jane notices that the woman only has eyes for Maura. She decides to put her hand on the small of Maura's back, a gesture that does not go unnoticed by both women.

"I have to leave now, so if you have any questions or need some information, you're always welcome to give me a call," the woman says, more to Maura than to Jane. It makes the brunette feel even more protective of her best friend.

"Thanks," Jane replies. To any other person she'd sound honest, but Maura knows she doesn't mean it. She looks at her best friend and sees an unusual emotion: jealousy. She decides not to comment on it and thanks the woman as well before heading towards the bedroom with her suitcase.

It takes a few minutes for Jane to come in, who sees Maura sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What was that about?" Maura asks, looking up at Jane.

"Nothing Maur, I just .. I didn't like the way she looked at you," Jane replies honestly. Now is not a time to lie.

"Why?" Maura asks again, hoping Jane will give in.

The brunette is silent for a while, hopping from one foot onto the other uncomfortably. When Maura thinks she won't get an answer, she speaks up, but Jane does too.

"I have to talk to you," they say simultaneously, before looking up at each other and bursting into laughter.

"Well, at least that's confirmed," Jane says, still smiling. "Tomorrow morning?" she asks.

"Early morning? To watch the sunrise on the beach?" Maura asks hopefully, knowing that Jane hates to get up early, but still.

Much to Maura's surprise, Jane agrees without complaining. "Okay. But we're going to bed now, because I'm pretty sure that at this point I could sleep while standing up," the brunette jokes, wanting to make her best friend laugh.

She succeeds and feels a quick flutter in her chest when Maura smiles.

* * *

Jane keeps her promise and joins Maura in the living room at 6:45AM, where her best friend has already grabbed their coats. It's December, the wind is cold and it's early in the morning, so warm clothes are definitely recommended.

The brunette yawns when Maura locks the front door and puts the key in her pocket.

"Aren't you cold?" Jane asks, eyeing the thin jacket Maura's wearing. The smaller woman shakes her head while they start walking. "I'm wearing a t-shirt and a sweater underneath this," she answers.

They walk in silence for a while, their heads filled with things they have yet to say to each other.

When they're at the top of the dune, Maura is out of breath.

"Can we stop for a second?" she asks, slowing her pace.

"Of course Maur, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Jane asks, immediately worried. She pulls on Maura's arm to be able to look into her best friend's eyes. The smaller woman nods, trying to regulate her breathing. "I'm okay," she pants while putting her hand over her chest.

When, after a few minutes, her breathing is back to normal, they continue their path towards the beach. "It's normal, Jane. These symptoms will disappear eventually," Maura says, noticing that Jane is looking at her worriedly. They've reached the end of the path and are now stepping into the sand.

"Where do you want to sit down?" Jane asks, looking around them. There's no way Maura is going to sit on the sand, she thinks, but she's wrong.

"Why don't we walk a little further that way?" Maura says, pointing towards their left. "We could just sit down with our back against the dune."

Jane gasps excessively. "No **way.** Maura Isles, in her designer clothes, sitting down on the sand?"

Her best friend rolls her eyes. "Stop mocking me, Jane. I don't care about the sand. I just want to watch the sunrise with you."

The brunette can't immediately respond to that, so she stays silent and pulls Maura with her.

When they've finally found their spot, Jane helps Maura sit down on the sand before joining her. They don't talk for a while, neither one of them knowing when to start or what to say. Maura has thought about having this conversation many times, there were times she couldn't stop thinking it. Now she can't remember anything.

Jane, on her part, knows exactly what she wants to say, but she has no idea where to start. She stares at the ocean, thinking about random things, like how far away Europe is from the place she's sitting right now. Or how beautiful the sky looks.

Maura is the first one to actually start the conversation.

"The amount of support you and your family have given me over the past few months is absolutely amazing. I will forever be grateful for that. All those times you've taken me to the hospital and back. I can't even begin to thank you for everything you've done, but there's something that I've missed."

Jane turns her head to look into hazel eyes. "What did I do? Did I forget something?"

"I've only once noticed that these months have been hard on you. That was the night before the surgery. All the other days and nights, you haven't shown any sadness or anger or fear. And don't say you don't feel those emotions, because I know you do. I just want you to tell me so I can be there for you."

"You don't need to be there for me," Jane says, barely succeeding in keeping the anger out of her voice. She's not mad at Maura, she's mad at herself for never allowing herself to show people what she's feeling.

"You don't **let** me be there for you. There's a difference," Maura counters.

Jane doesn't answer.

"Please. Tell me how you feel. Tell me what you've felt. I want to know, Jane," Maura says.

The brunette leans forward to rest her arms on her knees and places her chin in her hands, looking back at the ocean. She sighs deeply before answering.

"I don't know, Maur," her voice is soft. "I just .. I care about you so much that there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Those times taking you to the hospital were horrifying. I'd never know how you'd feel after another chemo. And the surgery, I ...," Jane stops, words failing her.

Maura places her hand on the brunettes back, rubbing gently. "And?" she says, encouragingly.

"I thought I was going to lose you," the response is so emotional, Maura has trouble believing it's actually Jane who said this.

Her hand is trembling, not because she is, but because the back she's placed it on is shaking heavily. She wraps her arm around Jane, pulling her best friend closer. Jane leans into her without question, something she doesn't do often. Maura holds her until she feels Jane takes a deep, shaking breath.

The brunette sits up and shifts slightly sideways until she's facing her best friend. She feels the, now familiar and recognizable, feeling of love when she looks into hazel eyes, that without question reflect the same look back at her.

 _It's now or never._

Before Jane can even register what she's doing, she presses her lips against Maura's.

Whoever invented the phenomenon "seeing stars" obviously didn't kiss the right person, Jane thinks, because her whole universe seems to explode when their lips touch. She's only vaguely aware of Maura's hand sliding into her hair only seconds into the kiss, or the small gasp Maura makes when she pulls her closer.

They stay like that for a while, Jane's hand on Maura's neck and the other in the sand, while Maura's is still tangled in brunette's curls. The sunrise is beautiful and Maura feels the warmth of the sun, as well as the love she has for Jane, spread through her. When Maura feels like she's going to pass out from the lack of air, she pulls back and meets twinkling brown eyes. She smiles and rests her forehead against Jane's chest, trying to catch her breath. For once, her being out of breath isn't because of the cancer, or the chemotherapy. The wild-haired brunette, on whose chest she's laying right now, is the cause.

"Jane," Maura breathes. "I love you."

The brunette lets out a sob and a laugh at the same time, pulling back a little to be able to look into her best friend's eyes. "Maura Isles, will you be my girlfriend?"

After three seconds that seem like a lifetime, Maura leans in to kiss her again.

And Jane has her answer.

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter. I found out yesterday that it had been two weeks since my last update and I didn't want you guys to think I abandoned this story, so I basically wrote this in a day. I'll fix errors tomorrow, point them out to me if you notice one. Hope you like it anyways, let me know :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you for staying with me through my hectic (update) life. This chapter is probably the last one? Followed by an epilogue?  
**

* * *

They stayed on the beach for two more hours, looking at the ocean but mostly at each other, until Jane couldn't rub the warmth back in to Maura's hands. They hold hands on their way back to the cottage and it seems even more natural now.

Maura takes the key from her pocket, opening the front door before letting the brunette take off her coat. She walks into the kitchen, taking her time to figure out how the coffee machine works while Jane hangs up their coats in the hallway. Just when she has figured out how the machine works, two strong arms wrap around her.

"We're going back to bed," a rough voice says. Maura leans into the embrace, simply letting herself enjoy the moment. A small gasp escapes her when she feels a pair of, unexpectedly soft, lips press a kiss to the side of her neck.

"Jane," she whispers, when the kisses continue. "You need to stop."

"Why?" the brunette says, purposely continuing her trail of kisses down Maura's neck.

"Because I can't, I can't ... think when you do that," the smaller woman replies, still leaning into the strong arms of her girlfriend.

Jane does what she's told and stops, exhaling extra loud on purpose. She waits until Maura turns around and she's able to press her lips against Maura's, only to pull back after a few seconds. Maura goes to protest, but Jane holds up her hand.

"Nope. You told me to stop," she says, smirking. She knows very well what Maura wants.

"Jane," Maura starts. "I want that too. It's just, as much as I would like this to continue, I'm way too tired to even **think** about that right now."

The brunette nods, placing her hand in the small of Maura's back before guiding her towards the bedroom. When they're in the bedroom, she takes the sweater off that Maura's wearing, only to reveal another t-shirt. She goes to lift that up too, but the smaller woman stops her. "Don't," she says, deliberately avoiding Jane's eyes. The brunette stops, but doesn't let go just yet. She uses her finger to lift up Maura's chin, forcing her to look into her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jane says, voice gentle. Hazel eyes meet her brown ones, that look a little sad.

"The surgery left a scar. That's normal, but I just, I don't know how to deal with it," Maura confesses. "I feel so ugly."

Jane lets go of Maura's chin, taking both of her girlfriend's hands in hers.

"Do you know how many scars I have? They don't make you ugly, honey. They're there as a reminder that you survived."

"Do you think that way about yours too?" Maura asks, looking up at Jane.

"No," the brunette answers honestly, after a minute of silence, "but I'm working on it."

Jane pulls the smaller woman in for a hug, still amazed by the way it fits perfectly when she wraps her arms around Maura.

"How do you always know exactly what to say?" Maura says into Jane's neck.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just that good," Jane jokes, wanting to see her girlfriend smile again. Maura pulls back and smacks her shoulder, but secretly loves the jokes the brunette always seems to be making at the right moments. "Are you?" she counters. "Prove it."

Daring Jane is never a good idea. She's up for everything and will do the most crazy of things, which Maura already knows.

The brunette steps even closer to her if possible and leans in to whisper in Maura's ear.

"You'll find out soon enough." The sentence, laced with promise, makes Maura slightly weak in her knees. She knows they won't "hook up" these couple of days, because she's simply too tired. She steps backwards, pretending to huff before she pulls her shirt up and over her head, revealing a lacy red bra that Jane can't seem to take her eyes off of. Maura waits for a few seconds before she turns around, walking towards the bed while grabbing a pair of yoga pants from her suitcase. Jane stands frozen, unsure of what to do.

Maura slips out of the pants she's wearing and pulls the softer material of the yoga pants over her hips. She's standing with her back towards Jane and takes off her bra, knowing that Jane is watching every movement. She pulls a tank top (Jane's tank top, mind her) over her head before turning around to face Jane, who is still standing in the same spot.

"Are you coming?" Maura asks, smiling.

It's now 10AM, and although Jane isn't sleepy at all, she decides to join Maura in bed. How can she not when she's finally allowed to hold her?

She only slides out of her pants, not caring about the clothes on the upper half of her body. She quickly slides under the covers, snuggling (yes, snuggling) closer to her girlfriend.

They lie in silence for a while, both too busy thinking about other things they could be doing to start a conversation. Maura feels her eyelids get heavy already, but she doesn't want to fall asleep just yet.

"I love you," Jane says, minutes later. "Can I say that all the time now?"

Her best friend, now girlfriend nods and tired hazel eyes look up at her. "When?" Maura manages to whisper, eyes falling shut when Jane pulls her closer. She nuzzles Jane's neck, taking in the brunette's scent. "The time we were trapped at headquarters," Jane answers. "And you were protecting Frankie like he was your own brother. The terror in your eyes when I got taken away from you two. I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do to keep you safe. So when I ... shot myself," she says, hesitating slightly when she thinks about the events of that day. "I heard you scream my name just before I blacked out. I realized that **you** were my reason, Maura. You've always been. I knew I loved you then."

Jane feels Maura's tears on the side of her neck, and pulls the smaller woman even closer.

"I love you too."

Jane rather feels the words being mumbled into her neck than she actually hears them. She squeezes her girlfriend tightly before putting one arm on her girlfriend's hip, pulling her even closer. While Maura is asleep within minutes, Jane stays awake for at least half an hour, lost in her thoughts.

* * *

They spend four days in the cottage before heading home, both singing along with the radio on their way back.

Jane's worried, Maura can tell by the way her eyebrows are just slightly frowned. She doesn't know about what the brunette is thinking, and decides not to push. She entwines their fingers, loving how the feeling of nervousness when holding Jane's hand has already turned into that of safety.

In the end she doesn't even have to ask the brunette what's wrong, because Jane starts the conversation herself. They are about half an hour away from home and stuck in traffic, because it's 5PM and everyone is heading home.

"When do you think we should tell people?" Jane says, nervousness definitely present in her voice.

"I really don't care, Jane," Maura replies honestly, after a minute. It's true, she doesn't care at all. She only cares about being with Jane and, surprisingly, not about the opinion of others. "Whatever you want and I'll be there."

Jane doesn't reply, causing Maura to look at her.

"Are you afraid of how your mother might react?" Maura asks gently. The brunette nods, clenching her jaw to hold back tears. Now is not the moment to cry.

Maura thinks of all the times Angela has talked to Jane about getting married, having kids and so on. She can't imagine how conflicted Jane must feel, knowing that her mother is still thinking Jane is going to end up with a husband and that she'll have grandchildren, only to have Jane tell her now that that isn't going to happen.

"I'm not ..," Jane coughs, clearing her throat before continuing. "I'm not worried about what Frost or Korsak might say. Frankie already knows," she says, eyeing Maura with a slight smile. "I just think that my mom won't understand. She loves you, Maura, don't get me wrong, it's just ..." Jane trails off, not knowing how to explain.

"I know, honey," Maura says. "If you think that we shouldn't be together-"

Jane interrupts her. "No way. I'm not breaking up with you."

Maura shifts slightly in her seat to be able to place her head on Jane's shoulder. She feels the brunette's bicep flex slightly when taking a turn to the left.

"I'll talk to her if you want me to," she says, not failing to notice how the brunette tenses at that suggestion.

"It's fine, I got it," Jane answers.

They don't talk during the remainder of the trip, but Maura doesn't lift her head from Jane shoulder once, offering silent support.

* * *

Maura is upstairs, doing her make-up. Jane asked if she wanted to go to the movies, because she's still too tired to do anything that involves an evening of walking. Shopping, for example, is still too exhausting. It's been four days since their mini holiday, and Jane still hasn't talked to her mother. Maura doesn't want to push her.

She doesn't tremble when she applies her mascara, taking her time. She hears the front door open, followed by Angela's voice ringing through the house. "Janie, I'm going out for the evening. Could you-"

"Nope. I'm going to the movies with Maura," she hears the brunette say, along with the sound of her dishwasher closing.

"Oh, well. Okay. Where's Maura?" the older woman says.

"She's upstairs, getting ready. Ma, I need to talk to you," Jane says, and Maura almost drops her brush. She manages to not let it drop and moves closer to the door, not wanting to eavesdrop, but she can't help it. She needs to know what her girlfriend is going to say.

"Ma, I ... I love Maura. We, umm, we-" Jane doesn't get the chance to go any further, because Angela interrupts her. "Yes, I know she's your best friend, Janie. Why are you saying this?" Angela says, obviously not understanding what her daughter means.

"I mean, I'm **in** love with Maura. We're in a relationship."

The silence that follows Jane's confession is deafening. This can either end well, or go very wrong, and Jane nor Maura have any idea which scenario it will be.

"But, but, Jane, you can't. You're not gay, are you? My little girl! You'll find a husband, honey. You don't have to worry about me not liking him. Can I meet him? It's obvious you're in love with someone."

 _Yes, your daughter is in love with **me** , you idiot. _Maura scares herself with that thought, she didn't know she could feel so protective over someone.

"Ma, I'm in love with Maura. I'm not in love with someone else," Jane tries again, sounding more desperate this time. Maura's heart constricts at the sound of Jane's voice and she can't help opening the bathroom door and walking towards the top of the stairs. Before Angela can continue, Maura calls out "Jane, could you come up here for a second? I need your help." She tries to suppress the hives that are already coming up, and succeeds. She hears footsteps come up the stairs and before she knows it, a mane of dark brown curls comes into sight.

Maura thought the sound of Jane's voice was already heartbreaking, but she didn't realize the look in Jane's eyes could be even worse. The brunette tries hard not to cry, but a tear slips out when she sees her girlfriend standing at the top of the stairs.

Maura doesn't say anything. She waits until Jane is close enough to pull her into a hug, holding the brunette tightly.

"It's okay," she whispers. "I'm here."

"I'm not going back downstairs, Maura. I'm not," Jane says, voice trembling.

"Honey. I won't let her do this to you. We're going to talk to her. Please, Jane."

The brunette pulls back, looking into fierce hazel eyes. The conviction in Maura's eyes is obvious, there's no way her girlfriend is going to let her back down. She nods, giving in to Maura's pleading. That small nod is enough for Maura and she puts her hand in the small of Jane's back, gently pushing her towards the stairs.

Jane walks downstairs first, Maura right behind her. "Ma," she starts when they round the corner and enter the living room, only to find that no one's there.

Angela has already left.

* * *

The same evening, Jane's phone rings. The sound of it pulls her out of her haze, and she gets up from the couch to pick up. Maura follows her into the kitchen.

"Hey Frankie," Jane says, immediately on edge when she sees the caller ID.

"Ma called me. She said she walked out on you," the voice of her little brother calms her racing heart.

"Yeah," she says, not knowing what else to say. She's not going to say it's fine. Not this time.

"She said she'd come over to my house. She did, and she asked if I knew about you and Maura. I couldn't lie to her, Jane," Frankie says, falling silent for a minute before he continues. "She said that I should talk to you and say what she actually meant to say."

Jane wants to ask what that is, but she's not sure she wants to know.

"I told her to go back and talk to you, instead of letting me clean up her mess. I'm fully supporting you, Jane, and I want her to go back and apologize. So if she calls you or knocks on the door, please open up. She has some explaining to do."

This answer is not at all the one Jane expected to get, and she needs a moment to collect herself. Frankie understands and waits patiently.

"Thanks, Frankie. I'll answer her," the brunette replies before hanging up.

Maura looks at her expectantly, wanting to know what's going on.

"Alright?" she asks, meaning _are you okay, are you hurting, what did he tell you?_

Jane nods, leaning in for a hug. She can't help but laugh silently when Maura wraps her arms around her, thinking about something.

The smaller woman pulls back, look into dark brown eyes. "What?" she says, eyes sparking because Jane's do too.

"I was just thinking how I used to hate being hugged, but with you it's all I want to do," the brunette says, a soft smile still playing on her lips.

Before Maura knows it, she's being pulled in for a kiss. The world disappears for a moment and Jane is all around her.

When the brunette pulls back, her eyes are still sparkling, although they look a little more peaceful as well. She looks like she wants to say something but not quite managing, and Maura doesn't wait before she replies this time.

"I love you too, Jane. And I will always be here for you and here with you, no matter what happens."

* * *

 **My midterms are next week, so excuse me if my next update will take a while (again). Thanks for staying with me and writing such wonderful reviews. I couldn't be happier with the amount of support you've all given me.**

 **Oh, please point out to me if you find an error in this chapter. Thanks to alfret2010 for pointing one out in the last chapter!**


	10. Epilogue

**Last chapter guys. A/N at the end.**

* * *

 **Five years later**

After Maura's last chemo, she was told she had to go to the hospital every six weeks to check if there weren't any new cancer cells present. After a year, she was allowed to come once in two months, followed by once in three months and once in six months. Today is her last appointment.

When she walks into the hospital, holding hands with the wild-haired brunette who's stayed by her side through it all, she thinks about the last five years. Right after Frankie rang Jane, the brunette fell apart, not knowing how to deal with her mother's reaction. Maura stayed with her and held her, promising that everything would be okay. Angela came over to her house the next morning and apologized for what she'd said, saying that she had to come to terms with the fact that her daughter wasn't going to have a husband, something Angela has wanted her entire life. She told Jane that was very selfish of her, and that she shouldn't have pushed her. She hugged Jane and told them she was incredibly happy for them both and she'd be there if they ever needed anything. Maura was sure that Angela didn't know how much this meant to her daughter.

Then they told Frost and Korsak, who, deep in their hearts, already knew that Jane and Maura belonged together. Frost hugged Jane, whispering something in the brunette's ear and Maura, up until this day, doesn't know what he said. She doesn't ask either, it's something between them and if Jane wants to keep it that way, she wants that too. Korsak simply smiled and put his hand on Jane's shoulder, a silent approval. Jane nor Maura expected something else from the older man.

When Maura had had her last chemo, she had to get back to work. She was eager to get back and solve cases with Jane, who had also already returned. The detective became restless in between Maura's last chemo and the first day she could go back to work. In the end, she agreed to start a week earlier than Maura, after lots of conversations where Maura would try to convince Jane that it was okay, that she had done enough.

Jane, Korsak, Frost and her had made the national news two months after that when they solved seemingly the hardest case in history, a serial killer who left nothing but bodies behind. Solving the case took weeks and the coffee Angela brought in every morning was well appreciated by the detectives as well as Maura. The case nearly broke Jane, nearly broke _them_. Nights weren't for sleeping, they were for fights and disagreements and nightmares. Jane usually didn't come home from work until midnight, something Maura would get really mad about. She was afraid Jane would get too wrapped up in the case and stop taking care of herself, something which Jane would disagree with because she found it hard to have someone who really cared about her. Normally, she'd just walk into her little apartment by herself, no one there to look after her. However, now there was someone waiting for her. Maura, the always gentle and caring doctor, who annoyed the hell out of Jane sometimes. Especially when she was frustrated because the day ended in another disaster; dead ends, unreliable witnesses and fingerprints that didn't match were usually a sign that the evening (or night) wouldn't end well.

Somehow, they made it through this all, and being able to close the case with the same amount of people they started with was something incredible. The guy who murdered seven women and eight men in twenty days, slipped up on his last kill and that's when they were finally able to get him. No one got injured, although Jane struggled to deal with the fact that he murdered so many people and he got away uninjured. But they got him. And when Frost, Korsak and Jane arrived at headquarters, Maura was there to meet them. They didn't high five, they didn't cry, they only hugged, the exhaustion finally setting in. Cavanaugh told them to take a couple of days off, so they did.

Jane and Maura had to make up, the words that had been thrown around during those weeks were definitely far from the truth. Things like _I want you to fucking leave me alone_ and _you don't understand anything_ were to be explained, which happened alongside lots of crying.

And today, Jane is still here, right next to her. And it's the brunette's voice that pulls her from her thoughts, supported by a rough but gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Where are you with your mind?"

Maura looks up into dark brown eyes, not answering straight away, and realizes that they're already in the elevator, something that she hasn't noticed. If everything turns out to be okay today, she won't have to come back anymore and she hopes with her entire being that will happen. Not only for her sake, because she doesn't know if she can handle another round of treatment, but also for Jane. The brunette has had a hard time as well, seeing her in hospital beds wasn't something Jane wanted to see ever again.

The soft pling of the elevator tells them they've arrived on the second floor, a place where too much of their time has been spent over the past few years. The nurse behind the counter recognizes her, even though it's been a year since she's been here. She comes from behind her desk and towards them, wrapping her arms around Maura. "Good luck to you both," she says, pulling back from the embrace. She places her hand on Jane's shoulder, looking into the detective's eyes but not hugging her.

"You remembered," Jane said, thinking back to when she told the nurses that she doesn't like to be hugged.

The nurse smiles at them one last time before escorting them towards the waiting room, telling them that she'll make sure the doctor will be there soon.

They sit down on the hospital chairs and Maura feels the tension in her shoulders. She rolls them uncomfortably, something that doesn't go unnoticed by Jane. "Come here," the brunette says, pulling the smaller woman closer to her until she's able to rest her head on Jane's shoulder.

Jane runs her hand through Maura's soft hair. Yes, her _hair_ , which has grown back; a little thinner than it used to be, not so many curls as before, but it's back nevertheless. Maura has missed this feeling, and despite the stress she feels, she allows herself to feel a little happy as well.

They sit in silence for a while and Maura feels Jane tense up every time a doctor comes into the room, only to relax when she realizes that it's not their doctor.

"Miss Isles?" a woman's voice pulls them from their thoughts.

"Yes, that's me," Maura replies, already pulling Jane up to go with her. They walk towards the room where the scan of Maura's lungs will be made.

"I'm waiting here," Jane says, when Maura has to go inside. She's not allowed to go in there, the level of radiation isn't necessarily beneficial for your health. So you're only allowed to go in there if it's absolutely necessary. Jane watches the blonde go into the room while she waits anxiously, allowing herself to be emotional, just a little. She doesn't shed a tear, she's too proud for that. That hasn't changed.

It doesn't take longer than five minutes for Maura to get back from the CT-scan. "We need to do one more blood test before we get the results," the blonde says, putting her arm around Jane. "Nothing's wrong, they just want to be sure."

The blood test doesn't take long either and before they know it, they're back in the waiting room. Waiting for the results that will have an enormous impact on their lives, whether they are positive or negative.

Jane's hands are shaking when the doctor comes to get them and discuss the results. While they're walking towards his room, Jane thinks about the effect of Maura's illness on both their lives. She thinks about all the times she has walked down this hallway, either alone or with Maura. She thinks about the blonde in a hospital bed, looking pale and sick. She thinks about the days where Maura felt too sick to get out of bed, and she would spend the entire day by Maura's side.

They walk into the room of the doctor, whose name Jane suddenly remembers, Hamilton. She sits down next to Maura, whose hands tremble as well.

"Well, I'll get right to it. The results of your CT-scan as well as your blood tests are good. We haven't found any new cells, meaning you are now officially cleared to go home and hopefully never come back," doctor Hamilton says, smiling.

Jane and Maura look at each other simultaneously, and Maura lets out a sob. The brunette opens her arms, pulling the blonde into a hug despite the awkward position.

"Oh my god, Jane," Maura mumbles in the brunette's neck. Jane herself has troubles keeping her tears at bay as well, but she manages to thank the doctor.

He gives her a friendly nod and you can clearly see the happiness in his eyes. There are lots of patients who probably won't get these results, and he has had to bring bad news way too many times. Seeing his patients so happy must be one of the things that gets him through the days at work.

Jane pulls Maura up until they're both standing and able to shake hands with doctor Hamilton. "Thank you so much," Maura manages to say.

When they're in the hallway, Jane pulls out her cellphone. "I have to call Ma. And Frankie."

She dials her mother and it takes less than five seconds for Angela to pick up.

"How is she? Are you okay? What were the results?" Three questions in three seconds, that's definitely a record for Jane's mother.

"Ma, if you would just let me speak," Jane starts. "We're good. They haven't found any new cells."

Angela squeals. "Oh my god honey! Tell Maura I'm so happy for her. I'm happy for you both, Jane. Thank God."

Maura presses the button of the elevator when Jane hangs up.

"I'll text Frankie on our way back. I just want to go home with you now, Maura," the brunette says, looking into hazel eyes. The blonde smiles through her tears, falling in love with the woman in front of her all over again when she sees the sparkles return in Jane's eyes. _We made it._

The ride in the elevator doesn't even take thirty seconds, and before they know it, they're already on the ground floor of the hospital. They walk towards the exit, and Maura feels a feeling of excitement and freedom settle in the closer they get.

The automatic doors open, they walk into the cold spring air of March, and Jane grabs her hand.

Her vision is blurry, the tears are now flowing freely down her cheeks.

 _I'm cured._

* * *

 **It's been a ride, y'all. I can't thank you enough for the amount of support and positivity I've received, it's incredible. I never thought there would be so many people who would want to read this story, let alone stay with me until the end.  
**

 **I left Tommy and Frank out of this epilogue, simply because I didn't mention them in the story either. I randomly started this and I (unlike other writers) had nothing planned out, just a rough draft of what I wanted to write in which chapter. For my future stories I'm really planning everything out. Yes, _future_ _stories_! I already have a few ideas, but if you want a song fic, or just anything else, you can always PM me.**

 **Once again, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you've enjoyed this story!**

 **M.**


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